Another lawyer joke! - Posted by Tim (OH)

Posted by JPiper on January 21, 1999 at 21:06:38:

What?!? My lawyer died??


Another lawyer joke! - Posted by Tim (OH)

Posted by Tim (OH) on January 21, 1999 at 15:32:58:

A man calls his attorney’s office and the receptionist tells him “I’m sorry sir, but your attorney has died!”.

The next day the man calls back and asks to speak to his attorney and the receptionist repeats “I’m sorry sir but, your attorney has died!”.

The next day the man calls back and asks to speak to his attorney. Now the receptionist is getting ticked and says “Sir, as I’ve told you before, your attorney has died. Why do you keep calling back?”

The man replies “I just like hearing it!”

Re: Another lawyer joke! - Posted by DavidV

Posted by DavidV on January 21, 1999 at 20:47:19:

Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, an honest Lawyer, and a bum are walking together down a street. They suddenly come upon a $100 bill just laying out in the open. So which one of them gets the $100 bill? The bum of course, the other three are mythical!

Re: Dead Attorneys - Posted by JHyre in Ohio

Posted by JHyre in Ohio on January 21, 1999 at 16:03:08:

31 year-old attorney shows up at the pearly gates. St. Peter says. “We’ve been expecting you. We don’t get many attorneys up here, you know. Just check over the paperwork and we’ll let you right in.”

The attorney looks over the paperwork and notices the words CAUSE OF DEATH- OLD AGE. He says to St. Peter “There must be some mistake! I’m far too young to die of old age!”

St. Peter wrinkles his brow, pulls out a large book and starts searching through it. He finally finds what he’s looking for and says, “Well, according to your billing records, you are 95 years old!”

Re: It’s s’posed to be an Aggie joke! - Posted by Cathryn

Posted by Cathryn on January 21, 1999 at 21:47:50:

Now, this is supposed to actually be an Aggie joke. (Aggies, for those few of you who don’t know, are graduates of Texas A & M University.) $100,000 in the middle of a room. In one corner the Easter Bunny, in the other Santa Claus, in the third corner a smart Aggie, in the last corner a dumb Aggie. Who gets the money? The dumb Aggie, of course! 'Cause everyone knows there ain’t no such thing as the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus or a smart Aggie!

I save these up for my vet…who is of course, a graduate of Texas A & M. (He puts up with it because I pay my bills.)

Doctor Joke/Atty Joke… - Posted by raelynn mitchell

Posted by raelynn mitchell on January 22, 1999 at 24:21:30:

A man is in a hospital, near death, and isn’t expected to ever leave the hospital alive.

He calls his doctor in and says, “How much time have I got? Give it to me straight.”

The doctor takes a long silent look at him, then says, “The truth?”

The man nods.

Doc says, “We honestly don’t expect you to make it through the night.”

The man thanks his doctor for the honest assessment. His attorney is standing just outside the room. He asks the doctor to bring him in. When the two of them are in the room he asks the lawyer to stand on the right side of him, and the doctor to stand on the left. Then he closes his eyes.

Standing there for over five minutes, the patient’s eyes closed and the room silent, finally the doctor speaks. He says, “Sir? Is everything all right? Is there something I can get you?”

The patient says, “No, everything’s fine. Jesus Christ died with a thief on either side. I thought I would check out the same way.”

Re: Dead Attorneys - Posted by JohnK(CA)

Posted by JohnK(CA) on January 21, 1999 at 23:58:36:

Thrifty old Cyrus wins $300,000 in the lottery, but finds out a month later that he has a disease, and only 90 days to live. He gets together with his banker, his CPA, and his Attorney. I will just blow this money if I keep it he says, I want each of you to hold one third of it for me. When I die put it in my coffin so I can take it with me. Each agrees to do it.
After the funeral the three meet for a drink. The CPA says, “I feel terrible, I kept $25K of the money for my retirement”. The banker says “I have to confess I too kept $15K for a gambling debt that I was in trouble with”. WHAT!! Says the Attorney, “Don’t you guys have any ethics?” “I wrote him a check for the whole amount!”