Are you Successful or Unsuccessful? - Posted by william

Posted by Houserookie on March 05, 2001 at 11:12:15:

Well maybe we’re not too far off from each other’s

Dense? I don’t know about that, Stacy. I dont’ think ur dense in anyway. We just operate at different frequency sometimes.

Are you Successful or Unsuccessful? - Posted by william

Posted by william on March 05, 2001 at 09:11:06:

What seperates the successful from the unsuccessful??

Hi, I have a question. What seperates the successful from the unsuccessful?? I’m not sure there is an exact answer, but I would like to share some thought into why I’ve been unsuccessful!

I have these great ideas on what I’m going to do or what I can do. I get very excited thinking about it, knowing that things are going to work out but things never do. I’m so frustrated, wondering why??? Why hasn’t things worked out the way I planned?
Well I started thinking about that question and I came up with some very difficult answers to swallow. The answer is this: When all the planning is done it is time to go make things happen by doing the things that were planned but when I go to start calling sellers or placing ads or putting out letters or talking to realtors I decide to read the paper, watch a little tv or eat some food and I actually spend maybe 1 or 2 hours a day working instead of the 8 that I had planned. When the day is over there is a terrible feeling inside of me, because I know that I did not do what I wanted to do.
Why did I do the things that I did not want to do. Why did I not do the things that would make me successful? I have come to the conclusion that even though I want to be successful and happy, my desire to do what’s easy, what does not require effort is controlling me! I will never be successful unless I do the things that require effort, the things that I really want to do!

How can I move out of the lazy rut of doing what is easy and into the path that requires effort but is satifying and rewarding?

I’m sure this post will motivate some with the same problem, will make some call me lazy that doesn’t have this problem but can anyone with any kind of answer please respond!

80% of anything is just showing up . . . - Posted by Bob H

Posted by Bob H on March 06, 2001 at 24:29:04:

It sounds so simple . . . But it’s true.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be the smartest or the most prepared. You don’t have to have all the answers, or for that matter, even understand all the questions. You don’t have to be the most charming, the wittiest or the most persuasive. Look around - for the most part, you don’t even have to be particularly good at what you do.

What makes all the difference? Just showing up.

The other 20 % of success is probably a combination of talent, training, desire, and a little bit of luck. Unfortunately, all of that in the world won’t help you until you decide to show up.

Reminding myself of this every so often keeps me going. Maybe it will help you.

I just have to jump in here!!! - Posted by Todd (MO)

Posted by Todd (MO) on March 05, 2001 at 22:57:41:

Man…would you look at all the post. Seems this is a hot topic with everyone here. I have told J.P. that she needs to start a forum for this stuff.

While there are a lot of commonalities of traits, habits, and behaviors that successful people exhibit. There are also many things that are unique to the individual that can get in the way of success. Since you are asking about your particular situation and behaviors, I will address them.

William, you are not alone in your situation. Yours is a fairly common malady of beginning entrepreneurs. There are a lot of good posts here, and I wasn’t going to post because of all the great suggestions and comments…but I began to notice something and thought I would contribute.

There is a lot of good information, and I am going to take a little different direction with this…deeper. You have the common situation of where you know what you should do (or what you “think” you should do), and you do something else instead. Then beat yourself up for your decision.

We as human beings will often take the path of least resistance. But more important than that, we will do what gives us immediate pleasure instead of what will cause us pain. While you keep trying to convince yourself that you really want this, you also don’t want to endure the pain that will come from it (you are in conflict). This pain can be in many forms, fear, humiliation, disappointment, etc. If we look at the language that you are using in describing your situation…a couple of things stand out.

First off, you are consistently asking yourself ineffective questions. You say things “never” work out, and then you ask yourself “why?” “Why did I do the things I did not want to do?” “Why did I not do the things that would make me successful?” There are only a limited number of ways to answer that, and the main answer is “because.” Well because why? “Because your lazy” your brain tells you. Not exactly a very productive or motivating response.

So, instead of this, start asking yourself what you could do next time to get yourself going? Or what would motivate me to do the things that are more productive? Ask questions that are going to give you the answers that you need that are positive and productive. Remember, ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer (especially with yourself).

I mentioned that you were in conflict over this. You said, “Why did I do the things that I did not want to do.” Actually at the time you did want to do them. It was later that you regretted it. The place where you are getting “stuck” is right when you get ready to take action. You say you think and plan things and then when it comes time to “do”, you do something else.

What it sounds like is happening William, is that you are being so focused on the present tasks at hand, and not the benefits of the outcome at the time you are ready to do them. What I mean is this…You say, “I will never be successful unless I do the things that require effort, the things that I really want to do.” Right there is another key to your situation. If you are thinking of the things that will lead to being successful as taking “effort”, then what do you think your subconscious mind would rather do? Something that takes “effort,” or something that’s “fun?” Mine tends to jump up and say “FUN!!!” So what you need to do, is associate doing the things that lead to success, as being “FUN!”

If you are focusing your attention on the actual tasks that you have to perform, then guess what? They may not seem like much fun. But if you begin to focus on what doing those tasks will get or do for you, then you begin to have something that motivates you in the right direction. If someone has a beautiful car, do they get more pleasure out of washing and waxing the car, or out of the results and benefits they will get from it? When you get to that point where you are about to make the decision of whether to watch TV, eat, or read. Or to do the things that will bring you success - STOP! and think about the outcome of each. Not doing them…the after at the end of the day. Put yourself there looking back at the days events. See yourself having done the activity, what you accomplished from it, how you feel about your efforts. Do this for each one, then determine which one feels more satisfying, more productive, more pleasureable. Then go with that one and don’t look back (hopefully you choose doing the things for success).

To answer your question, “What separates the Successful from the Unsuccessful?” It is a very fine line…it is that moment where you are faced with the decision of watching TV, or doing what leads to success.

Choose wisely!!!


Reminds me of ButFirst Disease - Posted by Rick(CA)

Posted by Rick(CA) on March 05, 2001 at 22:35:38:

Something we all suffer from time and again.

I’m going to make some deals happen, but first I’ve got to load the dishwasher. Wait, what’s the newspaper doing here? Ok, I’m gonna load the dishwasher, but first I’ve got to read that article in the paper.

Hey, the remote control is stuck in my chair. Ok, I’ll read the paper, then load the dishwasher, then make some deals, but first I’ll watch the morning news…

and on and on it goes, until your spouse asks you what you’ve been doing all day and you can’t tell her, but you just KNOW you’ve been busy all day!

THAT is But-First Disease.

Now, excuse me, I have to get back to work… But First, I have to post this reply! :>P

Activity Traps - Posted by Bob (Md)

Posted by Bob (Md) on March 05, 2001 at 22:00:01:


It sounds like you might be suffering from what some business analysts call “activity traps”. Essentially, the human brain doesn’t want to be perceived as lazy, but it also wants to avoid risk. So, rather than engage in risky behavior (making calls and offers), you are distracted into some other, safer activity. In their most evil forms, these traps can degrade into deviant behavior - overeating, alcoholism, etc. In their benign form, the sufferer is driven to complete certain mundane tasks before the dangerous activity can begin (“I just can’t concentrate on making those calls when I know the laundry hasn’t been done yet!”).

To make a long story short, you spend hours doing “useful” but nonproductive tasks, and before you know it the day is shot. It ends with a promise to do better tomorrow. And tomorrow ends up looking a whole lot like today did…

You have to break the cycle - its almost an addiction. Make the safe behavior the reward, and only allow yourself to do it AFTER a certain amount of risky behavior has been completed. In other words - you can’t have lunch unless you’ve made at least six calls or worked on offers for at least two hours. Don’t make the risky behavior too long, or you may never get started. If you can normally do 2 hours in a day, force yourself to do those 2 hours FIRST THING. Then, take a break and do the other thing - eat, tv, phone, Nintendo, whatever. Pretty soon, you’ll be cutting the other thing short in order to return to the risky behavior. You get comfortable with it, and it then becomes the safe behavior. At that point, you may realize that wasting hours doing nothing is actually more risky than doing the calls and offers, in the long run.

I’d suggest that you look into some of Anthony Robbins’ books where he talks about modelling and NLP (neuro-linguistic programming).

Dunno if this’ll help, but it probably won’t hurt ;-).

Study, ask Questions, and then DO IT!! - Posted by Quinton (IN)

Posted by Quinton (IN) on March 05, 2001 at 19:29:58:

I would like to think that I am successful! Of course it took me 4 YEARS to get off my bu__ and get going!!

I sat and studied and studied and studied and sat. Then I moved and found myself with 30,000 in equity in my new house!! (Who says downsizing doesn’t pay!)

I purchased a SFH and rehabbed it and now have it under contract. I am looking for other deals and will also look at the Lonnie deals.

Keep in there and keep going!!

Re: Are you Successful or Unsuccessful? - Posted by AnnNC

Posted by AnnNC on March 05, 2001 at 17:13:29:

Great comments from MarcNC and Mossy.

There is always fear: mainly, fear of humiliation.
Of someone saying Ha! What seminar did you attend?

Think of it as an adventure, a treasure hunt.

When you make your list of things to do, always start with something you’ve already done. This makes you look better. ( You ARE on Your side aren’t you?)
Start with, (1)“Took a good look at self and decided to
analyze why I seem to have trouble starting”
(2) Sought help

MattB had an excellent post wherein he said he stared
at the phone for an hour or two. (Never did make the call til the next day, I think) He’s doing pretty well now, had some ups and downs, wich he has posted here, but decided to re-start himself.

For whatever reason, the things on your list are not easy enough to begin. Maybe you don’t feel you know enough to proceed if someone said “yes”. Try to break it down to what your’re going to do next, or what steps
are missing that are really preliminary to the steps on your list. You can say, "Why didn’t I do this? What was missing?. It is likely that you are unclear on the
steps. Backtrack to the basics.
Why not run the ad? Haven’t decided what to say in the ad? Or what phone number to use? Or afraid someone might actually call? Don’t have contracts?

That was a good post. Got me to thinking, too, as I’m sure it did others.
Believe in yourself.
Even though it is true that at some point you have to act–if you are not doing it, then do keep studying
and work on your list everyday.

An excellent post which I think is somewhat related was posted by Merle Wooly, on preparing for the convention, I think it was entitled “How to get the most” or make the most “out of the convention”.
It has to do with being organized and focusing.

I trust this serves. Now to follow my own advice!
I can’t revise this because my browser erases when I go back to edit. My computer is all messed up, and needs a lot of attention. Hmmmm. Maybe I shouldn’t make a career out of this problem, but only determine to print out the contracts I need and keep going,
but still fix the computer soon. After all, my phone works, and I’m 10 minutes from the County courthouse.
Thanks again for your post.

What is your true desire??? - Posted by SCook85

Posted by SCook85 on March 05, 2001 at 16:39:51:

For many the problem is not knowing what our true desire is. People want to become real estate investors for numerous reasons.

Some people have a passion for real estate investing. Some people have a true passion for improving their community. Some people truly love the idea of fixing up homes and making them beautiful again. Some people love interacting with other people and make great landlords. Some people want to do it for the money. And the list goes on.

If the only reason you want to invest is for the money then you will probably fail, as you will in anything else if you are doing it for the money. For many people it is the love of money that drives them. You can never be successful in anything if your primary focus is money. Love of money over everything else is evil.

If your passion is to be a real estate investor, if you do a good job a lot of money will come your way. If your desire is to be a computer programmer, if you do a good job and work hard, a lot of money can come your way. If your desire is to be the worlds best pianist, you can become that and a lot of money will come your way.

The key is that you have to be doing something that you have a passion for. You must love what you are doing. If you have a passion for real estate then the money will come. It sounds to me like real estate is not where your passion is if the TV could pull you away from it.

Think about it, what is your true desire???


Re: Are you Successful or Unsuccessful? - Posted by Mark-NC

Posted by Mark-NC on March 05, 2001 at 12:45:33:

Don’t feel bad, you have won half the battle by realizing what you are doing wrong. I think we all go through this from time to time.

Sometimes it takes an event or a realization of your situation to snap you out of your rut to make you take action. You have to learn to put yourself into a survival type mode. You have to focus and not let anything or anyone deter you from your objective.

One very simple thing I do to keep myself focused and give myself a sense of acomplishment is to make a list of things I need to do the next day. There are two reasons for this.

The first one is; As soon as I write the task down it releases the information from my thoughts and I do not have to think about it anymore untill it is time to do the task. This is a great help if you have many things going on at once. It will also let you sleep better at night not having to worry about trying to remember all the tasks you need to acomplish.

The second reason is; It gives me a sense of acomplishment when I check the items off my list. I can look at it at the end of the day and see how productive I was. I may not have been successfull at all the items on the list but the fact that I made an effort to complete them still gave me that sense of accomplisment.

Goals are very important too. You see yourself as you are now. Now you need to visualize how or where you are going to be in a few years. If you see yourself successful keep that vision fresh in your mind all the time.

Give yourself a motivational catch phrase. When ever you catch yourself slipping back into that rut say the phrase to yourself to snap yourself out of it. Elvis had one, TCB… Taking Care Of Business. Then there is NIKE… JUST DO IT. There are many others. My to do list has the phrase “Things To Make Happen Today” on the top of the page.

If all of this doesn’work take a close look at yourself and decide right now how valuable your life is to you. When you die what do you want your tombstone to say. Do you want it to say,“William was a very smart individual, he new how to succeed but because he was lazy and not focused he was forced to live a very simple non eventful, mundane life”.

Or do you want it to say, “William took the world by the horns. With his knowledge and drive he became very successful and really made a difference in his life and all the people around him”.

I wish you the best success!


Re: Are you Successful or Unsuccessful? - Posted by Robert

Posted by Robert on March 05, 2001 at 12:11:13:

I was given this a short time ago and thought it may be of help to those who like myself, still struggle:
“Press on, Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men or women with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent!”

Re: Are you Successful or Unsuccessful? - Posted by Mossy

Posted by Mossy on March 05, 2001 at 12:10:15:

Right now you may be setting yourself up for failure. If you think that an eight hour day is the mark of success but right now your only working two hours then you’ll never feel good about what you achieve. Success breeds success.
For example a lot of people want to start an exercise/fitness program. They struggle with the idea of working out for an 1 to 1 1/2 hours a day so they never even get started. What if they set a goal to just do 15 mins a day. How many more would actually get out and do it, even if it was only 15 mins a day they would have at least got started. They would feel like they achieved their goal and start adding to it. Eventually they could work up to a 1 or even 2 hour workout.
This strategy might also work for you. If you currently can only put in a 2 hour effort daily then make that your goal. Why set one you know you’ll fail at. Think about how good you’ll feel when you meet your two hour goal. Think how extra special you’ll feel when you “accidentally” do more than you had set as your goal. Eventually you can start adding a half an hour to your goal every few weeks or whatever works for you. Eventually you’ll build it up to the measure you want. I hope I’ve managed to convey what I’m trying to say in this post. I’ve typed it rather quickly as I’ve just had a few minutes to drop in and check on posts.

Good Luck

What do you want! - Posted by PBoone

Posted by PBoone on March 05, 2001 at 12:09:07:

When you can answer that question then and only then will it come to you.
Be careful… If you want MONEY, it may lead to a job in a bank.
Intent, desire and action are the ways to attainment of ones goals.
To start, make daily, weekly goals then review at the end. Measure the success and apply activity toward generating new goals a little more above the bar last set.
If pizza and tv is more important than activity toward the financial freedom you claim to want, get a job and stop wasting time on dreaming.

Re: Are you Successful or Unsuccessful? - Posted by Bud Branstetter

Posted by Bud Branstetter on March 05, 2001 at 11:20:08:

I haven’t read Stacy’s book yet but there are some other avenues. one is the personal development approach. There is quite a discussion at John Behle’s site( Rising Star and other groups. Then there are the Tony Robbins books. Or things like An old book like Think and Grow Rich or Harellson’s Millionaire Mindset are invaluable. All of these things help you take responsibilty for yourself. The end product is learning to take action. After that you can apply the knowledge of real estate that you learn. For now it seems you have a fear. Maybe fear of failure. To be successfull it has to be overcome. A constant struggle. Easier for some than others.

Re: Are you Successful or Unsuccessful? - Posted by Stacy (AZ)

Posted by Stacy (AZ) on March 05, 2001 at 10:32:44:

I can empathize, and so can most humans, I would venture. I think it’s human nature for many, or every Carleton Sheets course sold would mean a successful investor was born. We’re LUCKY that most of these wannabes will never take the necessary actions to become successful, or competition would take away our market. Most people want easy and quick get rich strategies, and when they find out it takes work, tenacity and patience, they bail. Will you be a statistic? In a year from now, will you be wondering why nothing has changed? Where will you be in five years if you simply continue to do what you are doing today?

I have a suggestion. Buy a little book called “How to Think like a Millionaire”. Do exactly what it says to do. Make a promise to stick with it for at least a month. You’ll be surprised.

Good luck-


SUCCESS = CLM + CT - Posted by HOuserookie

Posted by HOuserookie on March 05, 2001 at 10:29:57:

I came up with an equation for success and goes beyond action. Particularly as it relates to modern day businesses.

Some would like you to think that things are as simple as one-two-three. Not so…


Success equals Capital X Legal and Marketing + Distribution X Technology Know How.

You can use your capital or someone elses capital. But before u go out and take too much action, I would study this equation and see how much u really know.

Re: 80% of anything is just showing up . . . - Posted by Stacy (AZ)

Posted by Stacy (AZ) on March 06, 2001 at 01:11:39:

I like it. It’s absolutely true. The simplicity is what got me.


Unconscious Demons… - Posted by HR

Posted by HR on March 05, 2001 at 17:30:36:

I agree with Bud and the other’s advice. It’s good advice that should be followed.

Here’s something else to consider: if you are having this much trouble getting started, then you have some unresolved issue that is unconscious and that you need to make conscious. It likely revolves around fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of failure. Fear of losing all your money.

Never neglect the demons of the unconscious. Self-help, positive attitude, and all the rest are indespensible and invaluable, but they will not get you past the demons lurking at the door of your unconscious. They will drive many of your thoughts, feelings, moods, and actions, and you will never know it.

So how do you overcome these feelings buried deep within?

You make them conscious.

You are going to have to do different activities that help you realize and accept the feelings you have inside about starting as a rei. Some strong feeling or thought is indeed blocking you.

Consider journaling. Start with the statement: If I did X, then Y. For example, if I started marketing, then people would call. Then keep repeating this, till you hit the base root of the thought/feeling. You will know when you’ve hit it; it will have an “ah-ha” quality to it.

For example: If I started marketing, then people will call. If people call, then I have to talk to them. If I talk to them, they will discover that I don’t know what I’m doing. If they discover that I don’t know what I’m doing, then they will take advantage of me. If they take advantage of me, then I will lose money. If I lose money, I won’t be able to support my family. If I can’t support my family, my wife will leave me. If my life left me, I would be devistated! AHHHHHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I’m afraid I may fail at this and my lovey may leave! No wonder you have a block, if this fictitious sequence were really your thoughts & feelings. Starting as a rei is equilivant to losing your mate!

Don’t discount this stuff. I know a few enterpreneurs, heavy achiever types, who minimize the unconscious. Don’t make that mistake. Make your unconscious your friend by honestly processing your deepest thoughts and feelings. Once you get them into the light of day (consciousness), you will often find them to be irrational (like our example) and something you can consciously correct. But, mark my words, until you drag them into consciousness, they will haunt your thoughts, feelings, moods, and behaviors.

Rejoice. Your journey is the hero’s journey. Rei is a spiritual path: for in it, we come face to face with our own beliefs, values, true self, and the world.

Whoever said this would be easy?


Re: Are you Successful or Unsuccessful? - Posted by Houserookie

Posted by Houserookie on March 05, 2001 at 10:43:10:

You are assuming that people that buy Carlton Sheet’s course will fail.

It doesn’t matter what course you buy, if you don’t use it, u will fail.

NOt everyone that is educated can become financially successful.

Re: Are you Successful or Unsuccessful? - Posted by Stacy (AZ)

Posted by Stacy (AZ) on March 05, 2001 at 11:01:53:

I’m really not trying to be antagonistic, Houserookie, but once again your logic defies my understanding. Maybe you and I are just on different wave-lengths…I don’t know. For example, I never stated that if one buys Carleton Sheets material, they will fail. I, for one, bought Sheet’s material to start years ago, and I’m doing OK.

My point is that many will try, but few will be successful, simply because they won’t follow through. Learning how to follow through is the key. You seem to restate that exact premise in your reply, so I guess I’m at a loss for what you are trying to add. Maybe I’m the dense one, here, and I just don’t see it.

Oh, well. That’s life.