Between the wife and I, (VENT) - Posted by Gerald(NC)

Posted by Sean on June 21, 2005 at 07:48:09:

Yes, an extra job to pay off debts is a good thing… and it is part of his plan to rapidly get momentum going to get debt off your back.

The issue though is a JOB is not a business and its not Real Estate Investing… JOB’s such as pizza delivery and the like pay you directly… there is little risk, you trade hours for dollars and get money.

YOu don’t put your own money at risk, or wait for checks that may or may not come in a time frame you hope or in the amounts you hope.

You still have to fix the poor money management skills, spending more than you make, and living within your means.

Between the wife and I, (VENT) - Posted by Gerald(NC)

Posted by Gerald(NC) on June 18, 2005 at 21:52:47:

Stands a big lack of communication/understanding apparently.

Here’s the deal:

I’ve always been one to wanna “improve” myself. Financially, physically, spiritually, and even maritually. Being this way, of course I want the best source of income I can make. I want freedom. I want control of my destiny. Etc.

I’ve always wanted my own business. My parents had their’s, and my aunt has had hers. I wanted mine.

Me and the wife, mostly me, hasn’t exactly handled our finances the best. We started rough with a bit of debt, and lots of NSF fees from the bank. Well we had gotten passed that and eleminated all our debts.

Then of course bout 2 months later I decide to buy a motorcycle. Something I always wanted. Then I wanted a bigger one. Then I wanted it gone cuz I was gonna hurt myself lol. So I sold it.

This was last year. I sold the bike and instead of paying off the loan, which I didn’t quite sell it for enough to do so, (thanx to wife), we spent the money. I also cashed out my 401k, $11k, and we blew it. (Job got taken over by nother company, so had to do something with it).

The plan with the 401k money was to have a garage built. (Least shell it in). Well the contractor never called back with the quote. Anytime I have to hold money like that, I end up spending it bit by bit, then have nothing to show for it. I also got 3 credit cards and slowly got them maxed out for a total of $7500.

So now we’re in about $13000 in debt. We make enough to pay it off somewhat early, IF we actually live by the 15th budget I’ve made. We DID it once, we WILL do it again. (she’s never been real involved till something goes wrong :P)

Well I had started my performance auto parts business on a shoe string mostly using Ebay. Needless to say I haven’t made much, but I do have more than $25k in sales since March 24th :D. But I just got a counterfiet certified check from a customer for $3750.

Of course I had spent my “profit” of the money, and then some I could make up. THEN I try to pay for something on the web with my debit card, and it won’t go through! So of course I go to the online account and it’s -$750+!!! I bout balled my eyes out if not for the anger.

Here I am trying to get our finances in good standing, and just about do, cept the wife’s $300 Wal-Mart trip early in the month, and then this CRAP!

So of course, NOW she’s involved in it since we had to borrow $$ from the mother in law. And of course she’s against me continuing the auto business, and almost totally against ANY kind of REI right now.

My side? I feel we WILL get the finances in order again. I just about already had them good till her spending and this bad check. (I don’t usually use my personal account for business, mostly it’s Paypal, unless it’s a check).

I see my auto profits helping get out of debt. Even more so, I see REI as the best way to get out of debt. I ONLY plan on doing some flips and some bird dogging to begin with. IF I would take on a Sub2, I’d make sure I have the “partner/inspection clause” in the contract. But I’m really only lookin for flips.

Also concidering some moble homes since I can get someone to back me up for say $1-2k pretty easily. But mostly, just looking for flips.

Anyway, she doesn’t understand “how” you can “make money without money” as in REI Creative financing. Of course, she’s not sharing this reading and studying with me so she’d then understand. The only way she’s gonna “get it” is when I actually do it.

What she sees my desire for “self improvement” to be is, “not happy with ANYthing!” And it’s not about that! It’s about securing our future. Making sure, when we have/adopt kids, we can allow her to stsy at home. I also want the freedom to take “off” a month if I want since she’s a teacher and has some long holidays and summer vacations. I wanna make sure we can have the lifestyle we want.

I made some “bad” decisions, and she agreed to them. Now I think REI is a good decision and she won’t agree :(.

Sorry for the long post, but I had to vent to my peers and mentors.

Until you fix your overspending, all else is moot - Posted by Sean

Posted by Sean on June 20, 2005 at 09:11:02:

Don’t look to REI as a fix for poor money management… if you can’t manage money now, you surely won’t be able to manage it when you are dealing with a business that will require checks of 10’s of thousands of dollars at any one time.

If money is burning a hole in your pocket now, the last thing you need is a business where you will need to have thousands of dollars in reserves at times to make sure bills get paid, rental units are rentable, etc etc etc…

FIX YOUR MONEY MANAGEMENT FIRST before you remotely thing about REI!

If you can’t sit on 11,000 and get a bid on a garage before you blow it on toys, you are not remotely ready to handle 10,000 in your pocket that you will need to hold to pay contractors to get work done.

You are not remotely fiscally mature enough to think about REI… all you are going to do is dig a bigger hole for yourself than you already have!

You and your wife need to go listen to Dave Ramsey ( every day, go to one of his live events, get his books and courses and then LIVE BY THEM… show you control your money, not the other way around, and when you can show you can do that, then, and only then will you be ready to deal with 5 and 6 figure checks coming into your life.

If you try to do REI right now, I predict you will be 130,000 in debt with 12 months and not have the revenues to pay for it.

FIX THE PROBLEM… the PROBLEM isn’t INCOME, the problem is Fiscal maturity and outgo! Fix that first… then you can work on the INCOME side.

Re: Between the wife and I, (VENT) - Posted by Gerald(NC)

Posted by Gerald(NC) on June 19, 2005 at 13:08:28:

Well folks I really appreciate the replies. Didn’t really think anyone would say much or even spend the time reading it all lol.

As for the last reply by dealmaker, I’m not neccesarrily “starting 3 things.” Thing was that 1. I have to have my fulltime job. 2. I started the auto biz due to lack funds needed to start up. 3. Wanted to start REI by the Flip and bird dog methods so there would also not be anything needed cash wise up front.

I always though I was going to be a serial entreprenuer most likely. Why? Cuz I like starting businesses lol. There are so many types of business I want to do, or think I do. Is it going to happen? not sure, not sure I have what it takes or the desire to do everything now.

Anyway, there is a local REI person in the town over that I plan to get to know and talk to. He also wants referrals and offers between $500 and $1000 for deals closed on. So I think I’m going to just call on all the houses FSBO and/or vacant, get the info, and pass it on to him. I can safely make money this way, and be close to the rEI biz if I decide to take it seriously.

But yes, my most important thing right now is getting my finances on track. Even thinking about closing the auot biz due to the fact I can’t compete using Ebay and Paypal, they get their fees and that’s a huge chunk.

Anyway, we’ll see where I go from here. I plan to use my time, extra time, reading and studying REI until I am financially mature.

So thanks to all for writing. Any other comments are welcome.

Re: Between the wife and I, (VENT) - Posted by dealmaker

Posted by dealmaker on June 19, 2005 at 12:42:43:

“Everything would have been OK except for her spending and the bad check”.

You’ve got to quit BS’ing yourself before you can be successful. The PENALTY and TAXES on the cashing out of the 401K just about equaled her Wal Mart trip and the bad check.

You need to concentrate on ONE THING, learn how to do it well and quit poking around with other stuff! If it’s auto parts, fine, if it’s REI, fine, if it’s working for someone for a salary, that’s fine too. But master one thing before you start 3 others.


Re: Between the wife and I, (VENT) - Posted by michaela-ATL

Posted by michaela-ATL on June 19, 2005 at 07:20:38:

I can’t blame your wife for not wanting you to get in
volved in real estate. She’s right. You’re not responsible enough. This is the most important self-improvement you could work on right now. Without
being able to get that under controll, you will go under in any business.

You write, that everything would have been fine, if you hadn’t gotten the bad check. Well, that’s the thing : things will always go differently than planned in real estate and you can’t always blame bad circumstances. You have to deal with them.

With that said, it took a lot of guts for you to open up on this board. So, work on you irresponsibility and let your wife handle all the finances from now on.


You Need This First - Posted by propertybuyer

Posted by propertybuyer on June 18, 2005 at 22:57:11:

Sounds like you need to listen to Dave Ramsey to get your debt and spending under control before you try real estate investing.

REI requires self-control, so get it first.

You can listen to him on the radio or the web. get info at:

Re: Between the wife and I, (VENT) - Posted by John Sheridan

Posted by John Sheridan on June 18, 2005 at 22:25:18:

I can’t help you with your real estate investment questions, but I can tell you this much – You need to find the root cause of the problem that is preventing you from handling your money wisely. Until you do that, no amount of money that you earn in real estate or anywhere else is going to help you. Try reading Clason’s “The Richest Man in Babylon”.

Re: Until you fix your overspending, … - Posted by Gerald(NC)

Posted by Gerald(NC) on June 20, 2005 at 21:34:36:

lol after doing his “check up” it tells me to get an “extra” job. HAh! LoL that’s his solution? Sorry, I’m sure there’s more on there to look at, and I will. I just thought that it’s funny.

Re: You Need This First - Posted by Glen-In-Cincinnati

Posted by Glen-In-Cincinnati on June 19, 2005 at 22:44:06:

I will second the reco for Dave Ramsey. Until you can get alignment on your finances, which represent your hopes, dreams, desired life style, you will continue to pull in opposite direction which makes it nearly impossible to accomplish financial freedom.