Convincing your spouse - Posted by fred


#1

Posted by Perry K. Harris on February 27, 1999 at 10:19:16:

Touche! Perhaps a nickel’s worth of embellishment, to the concept, would have sufficed, where I used $10.00 worth. Guns vs butter. I’m with you brother. Thanks, Perry, Ill…


#2

Convincing your spouse - Posted by fred

Posted by fred on February 24, 1999 at 12:10:00:

I’ve been diligently reading Lonnie’s books…
and want to get started, but when I talk about long range plans to really get into this, my wife thinks I’m crazy! Buy one or two, sure…but 100? Or a Park! Are you crazy?

Has anyone dealt with this?

thanks


#3

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by Rob FL

Posted by Rob FL on February 24, 1999 at 20:44:24:

Luckily, I already was involved in REI when I got married so my wife had no choice but to put up with it.

What I would do in your situation though is first sit down with your wife and have a very serious conversation about your long-term financial goals. Don’t go discussing about 100 MH in a park. If you have never owned any before, I would be pretty skeptical too. But one or two deals is believable. And two can turn into four and four into eight later on down the road. Explain to her WHY you want to do this. Woman love talking about feelings, and women love to feel like you are trying to make things better for them. (I really hate to generalize with that statement. But I think generally speaking it is true.) Your wife owes it to you to give you at least one shot at your dreams. (Of course if you have already tried 10 different things and never followed through, I can see her skepticism).

Before I even got married, I started brainwashing my wife to be with books and tapes. Have your wife read “Rich Dad Poor Dad” and “The Richest Man in Babylon.” The main key is to slowly improve and change her thinking. The books will help, but the money helps oh so much more.

Have your talk with her, have her read the books, and then quickly get out and prove to her you can do it.


#4

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by Bill OK

Posted by Bill OK on February 24, 1999 at 20:32:10:

It should be easy to win over the wife to the mobile homes. Just try to win her over on buying and building a 40 acre cemetery. Now thats HARD.


#5

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by Nancy

Posted by Nancy on February 24, 1999 at 18:55:40:

In my family it was the other way around. I had a husband to convince. It took me two years, yes 2 years. Don’t go into too much detail too soon. Discuss why you want to enter into investing. Don’t appear like you think you will get rich real fast.

When she offers resistance back off.

Do a few deals and let her see the results.

ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT. Tell her that her suppport is needed and appreciated. And that you are a team, and her input and concerns are important.

I started in 1992-1993 and my husband is my best supporter. I just signed a contract for a small mobile home park-we havn’t closed yet. But he is not as concerned as I am about the $100,000 debt. From the experiences we have had over the last few years he knows we will make money.


#6

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by JPiper

Posted by JPiper on February 24, 1999 at 18:55:31:

I don’t know of any rule of life that requires one’s spouse to either believe in or participate in your activities. Your partner is not apt to have ALL the same interests as you do, particularly those that you come up with somewhere down the road of your relationship.

The point here is not to convince your spouse that he/she should be interested in real estate or mobile homes, or have the motivation to buy 100 mobile homes or a mobile home park. The point is to convince your spouse that it is in his/her best interest as it pertains to the relationship to ALLOW the pursuit of your interests. By the way, you should also be ALLOWING his/her pursuit of their interests as well.

I wouldn’t start by discussing my goal of acquiring 100 mobile homes. Rather, I would just go get one. I would allow him/her to have WHATEVER feelings they choose regarding it. I just would NOT allow them to dictate what my interests SHOULD be, nor would I dictate what their interests SHOULD be.

It’s much easier to work out any difficulties over 1 mobile home, than it is over 100 POTENTIAL mobile homes. So that’s where I would start. I don’t know many people who would balk at a successful and growing enterprise of mobile homes. But if my spouse DID balk at this, I would rethink my relationship in light of my goals and interests. Does being married necessitate giving up control of your life to another??

JPiper


#7

Easy - Posted by Dirk Roach

Posted by Dirk Roach on February 24, 1999 at 16:31:35:

All you guys and gals having spouse difficulties, there is a simple answer.
Just bring them with you to the convention and let them talk to the spouses of the players and succesfull people there.
Don’t want to be poor, hang out with people who aren’t
Just a thought
Dirk


#8

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by Tony (OH)

Posted by Tony (OH) on February 24, 1999 at 15:33:43:

I agree…this is one of the hardest aspects of my starting…getting my wife to see the potential. Maybe try Lonnie’s suggestion of putting a deal in her name, could change her perspective dramatically!

Best of luck
TC


#9

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by Lynn (AL)

Posted by Lynn (AL) on February 24, 1999 at 15:13:47:

My problem is even worse. My wife says I’m nuts to want to do even 1 deal. She is not for this REI stuff AT ALL. Any suggestions how to convince her…besides giving her a percentage of the profits?

Someone once said to secretly do a deal and then let her see the profit figure. Easier said than done. How can I solicit for properties and then advertise it for sale without her knowing about it?

Lynn (AL)


#10

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by Tim (Atlanta)

Posted by Tim (Atlanta) on February 24, 1999 at 14:28:13:

On every property that I sell for cash, I take a small amount (usually less than 10%) of the net profit and let my wife buy whatever she wants. Yes, that is some money that cannot be used in the next deal, but since I started doing that, she is much more happy about me going out and looking for deals. In the past year, she has been able to buy new furniture for the living room, new TV with surround sound, and several decorative touches around the house. The monthly cash flow sure does help keep the peace. Just start small, and let your wife get used to the idea. Then slowly but surely expand.

Good luck on your way to those 100 MHs.


#11

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by AJ - Oklahoma

Posted by AJ - Oklahoma on February 24, 1999 at 12:25:07:

Do one small deal, then another and it won’t take long until your spouse appreciates the “extra” income. My husband is not interested in the nuts and bolts of real estate investing, but he has developed quite an appreciation for the results of the few investments I’ve made.

I say get started and let the results speak for themselves.

AJ


#12

No Tenant complaints, but evictions are terrible! - Posted by John Butler(Stl)

Posted by John Butler(Stl) on March 01, 1999 at 15:01:20:

nt


#13

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by Dan in Dallas

Posted by Dan in Dallas on February 24, 1999 at 21:41:18:

Bill…If she only knew! A cemetary will make what, about 2 million per acre! :slight_smile:


#14

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by Nancy

Posted by Nancy on February 24, 1999 at 19:08:16:

I just read J.Piper’s response. He is a little strong. Convincing your spouse, showing respect and love will get you coorperation. No arguments. Just let her know that you support her and you want her support. Make sure you are supporting her in her areas of concern.

It took me time because my husband and I are very different in many ways, yet we have remained married for 35 years.

You know her best and you know your situation best. PATIENCE will pay off.

KEEP TRYING, HAVE FUN & STAY POSITIVE


#15

Easier… - Posted by Soapymac

Posted by Soapymac on February 24, 1999 at 17:21:27:

Show her the money!

Do one, let her see the lucre. You will be amazed.


#16

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by PerryK. Harris

Posted by PerryK. Harris on February 26, 1999 at 14:15:24:

Hello, I have heard of a really delightful solution to your predicament. Give ALL of the profit to your significant other. Then, politely explain to her, that there is more of that, where it came from, and would she be interested ? If convincing her is the problem initially, show her, how much her cut will be, in advance. She can find out later, what your cut was, or wasn’t in this case. Be particular about the first deal you do, insuring there is a fat paycheck headed to the Mrs… Have some fun and joy with this. After all, you are giving to the most important person in your life. Visualize the look on your spouses face when the title company hands her a check for $30,000. Your question can then be: Would you like to do that again ? Let her spend it on anything her little heart desires. Lady investors, got a reluctant spouse ? Well do the same thing for that special man in your life, too. Can’t you see the look on your husband’s face, when he takes possession of a brand new Ranger bass boat, with all the bells and whistles ? Do you think you might have a willing partner on your hands ? Thanks, Perry, Ill…


#17

Why does she object to REI? - Posted by Baltimore BirdDog

Posted by Baltimore BirdDog on February 26, 1999 at 13:49:04:

Lynn,

Fortunately for me, I don’t share in your frustrations. I’m extremely lucky in that my future wife is fully supportive of my REI. However, I’d like to help you out in any way possible, so here goes…

First of all, you need to look at this as one of those many situations in life where you need to sell someone on something. View yourself as a salesman. Your commission is the ability to build your financial freedom through REI. Your job is to convince your wife of the benefits of REI. To that end, I ask the following–

What are your wife’s objections to REI?

Once we know this, we can give you a lot more suggestions on how to overcome them. I will say this, however. It is not a good idea to do a deal behind her back. That’s just asking for trouble. You need her approval to move forward. Her support may take some time, but she won’t be able to argue with results. Whatever you do, don’t give up! Persist and you will achieve your goals. Let us know her objections, and we’ll get going. Lots of luck.

-Jeremy


#18

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by Kevin OK

Posted by Kevin OK on February 24, 1999 at 19:57:51:

My wife, a veterinarian, is one of the most brilliant people I have known. And as skeptical as she is practical. We have diverse backgrounds, and diverse interests. But, I am pursuing REI to enhance our relationship. In the long run, it means more time together and less time working for someone else. This is my focus, and my purpose. In the interim, I have asked her to read Rich Dad, Poor Dad…for starters. Still, having multiple viewpoints is helpful.

As “Fixer Jay” says…when you have to explain why you’re using the Disney World vacation money as a downpayment on some run-down property, you’ll have thought the whole deal through REAL well !! Show your spouse how as a couple you’ll benefit over the long haul…

Just my 3 cents worth (discounted for you to 2 cents cash!). Kevin OK


#19

Do One? - Posted by Lynn (AL)

Posted by Lynn (AL) on February 24, 1999 at 22:07:11:

If she gets upset everytime you mention REI, how are you going to do a deal without her knowing it?

Lynn (AL)


#20

Re: Convincing your spouse - Posted by Rob FL

Posted by Rob FL on February 27, 1999 at 09:11:01:

I think you have the right idea in motivating the spouse with the paycheck. But I don’t think it is wise to blow your profit, especially in the beginning, on luxury items. I would rather have the $30,000 cash in liquid investments. It would certainly make me sleep easier knowing that if I got laid off tomorrow that there is $30,000 available to protect my financial well being. I would rather let her spend $1000 and invest/save the 29K for the future. That is how real wealth gets built.

my .02