How To Deal With Fear? - Posted by Nick

Posted by Michael Murray on March 21, 1999 at 12:40:24:

A research scientist once told me that he believed in the “UNIVERSAL WRONG THEORY” which states: Absolutely everything in the natural universe goes wrong - ALWAYS! Everything that anyone can think of or do and everything that goes on around us goes wrong, every time, always, no exceptions. In those rare times when things seem to go right, what has actually happened is, SOMETHING WENT WRONG WITH THE WRONG THEORY! That, in itself, is absolute proof of the Wrong Theory.

Ponder them apples,

How To Deal With Fear? - Posted by Nick

Posted by Nick on March 21, 1999 at 07:50:08:

Hello everyone;

Hi, well I know for a fact that this question probably
been asked a thousand times, but here it goes for a thousand
and one time.

I want to start in real estate, but the one major thing
that is holding me back is fear. I am afraid that I might
go bankrupt, or that something wrong might occurr.

So how do I defeat this fear mentality that I have?

Re: How To Deal With Fear? - Posted by Mark (SDCA)

Posted by Mark (SDCA) on March 22, 1999 at 12:09:16:

Fear in and of itself isn’t a bad thing. It can make you more cautious, force you to do the analysis. However, PARALYZING fear is a killer. What I do is 1) analyze the situation. After I have analyzed the situation, if I still feel fear, I ask myself why? Generic fear of bankrupcty doesn’t make sense. You don’t just “go bankrupt”. Something leads up to it. A tenant trashes your house or you run up credit card bills or so on.
When I am considering a deal, I pay careful attention to the downside. What is (realistically) the worst could happen? Then I come up with a plan to handle that. If the upside looks good and I can handle the downside then it’s a go. If I start to feel fear again I just re-assure myself that I can handle the downside so there really is no reason to feel fear.

Re: How To Deal With Fear? - Posted by JPiper

Posted by JPiper on March 21, 1999 at 10:24:36:

Welcome to the real world. We all feel fear of something?..the question is whether you will allow your fears to inhibit your progress. As a first step I would recommend a book named “Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers.

Actually I would suggest that feeling fear is healthy in many cases. Feeling fear of getting hit by a car might cause you to look both ways before crossing a street. After you look both ways, and assure yourself that no cars are coming, you feel safe in crossing. In real estate, knowledge is a little like “looking both ways”. Knowledge gives you part of the background that will enable you to avoid the major pitfalls that might cross your path in your real estate endeavors.

I was especially interested in your fear that “something wrong might occur”. As a note of reality, I can tell you that something wrong ALWAYS seems to occur. I can’t think of a transaction I’ve been involved in where something wrong hasn’t occurred. To this day, after years in this business, when I find a property that seems to be an outstanding deal, the thought that ALWAYS crosses my mind is “What’s wrong here? Why didn’t someone else buy this deal? What am I missing?”

This thought does not stop me from making my offer. I make the offer, but I make it with contingencies. I check out all the details that I have checked out thousands of times before. The contingency will allow me to walk from the deal if there is something I didn’t catch at first, something really wrong.

Even then, things go wrong. Your contractor doesn’t show up. Your contractor does sub-par work. Your contractor walks off the job. It takes longer to sell the property than you expected. Your buyer backs out of the deal. Your lender decides not to make your buyer the loan. The lender goes bankrupt in the middle of your deal (yes, it happens). Your ad doesn’t produce a response. The new buyer doesn’t make his payment. This list goes on and on.

Problems are a part of this business. “Things going wrong” are a part of the business, and a part of life. You make large profits from learning how to deal with problems?..learning how to solve a situation that goes wrong. If you are entering this business expecting things not to go wrong, you’ll be sorely disappointed. I promise you they will.

What you learn after a while is that things not only go wrong, but that you should plan for things to go wrong. This is why you make offers with contingencies. You can walk away. You make offers with ample profit margins, because when an unexpected event occurs you can still make a profit. You over-estimate your expenses, because things go wrong. You set aside some monthly payments on a loan, because the tenant might not pay one month. You don’t do deals where your margins are too skinny.

Finally, I think it would be important to note that “things going wrong” is called “experience”. You learn from experience, it’s the very best teacher. One of the valuable things about this website is that you are able to learn some things that some of us learned through experience?..that rather rude awakening that “Oh oh, I didn’t figure enough money into my deal for carrying costs”. But rest assured that you will still make mistakes, that things will still go wrong. Rest assured that even after years of experience I still make mistakes, and things still go wrong. I simply acknowledge that things going wrong is reality. I plan my business affairs around the idea that something always goes wrong.


Re: How To Deal With Fear? - Posted by Tom Caruthers

Posted by Tom Caruthers on March 21, 1999 at 09:38:20:

Do you remember the first time you ever asked a girl out on a date? Your desire over-ruled your fear! How about your first presentation in front of a live audience, or the first time you: jumped out of an airplane/placed a bet at a black-jack table/went on stage in a school play/cold-called a property seller?
Somewhere along the line, you’ve decided you want something new in your life. It involves risk, and risk is fearful. That’s good!
Find the book, “What to say when you talk to yourself”, by Shad somebody (Helmstetter, I think). Set goals, dream big dreams, small dreams have no magic! Don’t set out to make a supplemental living in creative real estate, set out to duplicate Donald Trump. (In fact, read his first book, “The Art of the Deal”).
Then embrace fear; it’s an incredibly strong emotion. Use the energy created by your fear, and do something big!
Good Luck,
Tom C
Granite Bay, CA

Re: How To Deal With Fear? - Posted by Laure

Posted by Laure on March 21, 1999 at 09:37:26:

Eduacte yourself until you’re blue in the face ! READ HERE, THEN, invest in some training, also here. All the time, learning your market. What are prices, rents??? You must know these things to recognize a money making opportunity. When you have knowledge, the confidence will rise, and the fear will go away.

Laure :slight_smile:

Re: How To Deal With Fear? - Posted by ScottB(CO)

Posted by ScottB(CO) on March 21, 1999 at 09:36:24:

I would recommend Robert Kiyosaki’s books “Rich Dad Poor Dad” and “Cashflow Quadrants”. In Cashflow Robert explains how a JOB is more risky than owning a business and how important it is to first change the way you think. “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Bible)

Re: How To Deal With Fear? - Posted by Rob FL

Posted by Rob FL on March 21, 1999 at 09:35:54:

Read “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David Schwartz. He makes a profound statement, “Action cures fear.” Treat this business like any other new venture. In school hopefully, you prepared and studied before taking a test or giving a speech. If you ever went to a job interview, hopefully you did preparation for that also. And once you got through it, the fear subsided. Everyone has fears similar to yours when they first start out. Educate yourself, set up your basic groundwork, locate a deal, run the numbers, and then make an offer.

Re: How To Deal With Fear? - Posted by Carol

Posted by Carol on March 21, 1999 at 09:01:22:

Take the ‘worst case scenario’ and prepare for it.
Once that strategy is in place, anything else is a piece of cake.

Also, try ‘dry runs’: make calls on properties you DON’T WANT and wouldn’t take on a dare… trust me the people on the other end of the phone won’t recognize you at the grocery store!

Understand that there are more deals out there than you would be able to handle in a lifetime, so blow a few while getting you feet wet.

But first and foremost, get some knowledge, have your exit strategies planned, and ‘prepare’ for your worst case scenario!