Husbands/Wives/Boyfriends/Girlfriends,etc.... - Posted by Carey_PA

Posted by Dave T on February 05, 2001 at 23:06:16:

Have you formed a business entity to limit your liability in the event of a lawsuit? If so, then have your lawyer reassure your significant other that your personal assets are adequately shielded from attack on your business entity.

Have you written a business plan or an operational concept that considers unfavorable contingencies? If so, then have your significant other read it and then clarify his/her questions.

If your significant other fully understands your business concept and your plan for weathering any forseeable storm, then acceptance should be forthcoming.

If your significant other is mounting extreme resistance, some other things that you can do to help your case is to maintain separate bank accounts, title property in separate names, and submit separate tax returns.

Husbands/Wives/Boyfriends/Girlfriends,etc… - Posted by Carey_PA

Posted by Carey_PA on February 05, 2001 at 21:11:28:

Hello all…

Ok here is my question: How do you handle your significant other being scared and a little uneasy about you doing real estate investing? You know, when they are use to the “security” of a full time job and a paycheck every week,etc. And they are not use to something “different” and “risky” like real estate investing.

Oh and yes I’ve already used the well I’ll be more secure than people with a F/T JOB, because they really aren’t secure they are at the mercy of their bosses,etc.

Just the other nite I was asked: “well what if something goes wrong, and someone sues you, and you lose your business and we lose our house, etc etc.”

How do you answer that? (I already tried to explain taking title in a trust, corporations, etc.) But I’d like to know how you all handle this??



Re: Husbands/Wives/Boyfriends/Girlfriends,etc… - Posted by Tony (Miami, FLa)

Posted by Tony (Miami, FLa) on February 08, 2001 at 16:43:10:

I know exactly how you feel!!! I am new to REI but have been investing in the stockmarket for the past 3 years. When I started that I had just met my wife so she was not a factor in my deciding to invest. When we got married everything changed!!! She wanted to take the money and put it in the banK @ a measly 3% when I am used to 30% a year or better. I showed her in the circle of people that we know who were the ones that had the lifestyle we wnated and we sat down to analyze what they di with their money and all invested it except for some reserves they kept in the bank. I tried to explain to her what I have always believed, that if you want to live like someone just copy everything they do as much as you possibly can and you will be where they are in a short while, & guess what she understood that. With REI I am going through the same thing all over again, since this is something new to the both of us. But ALOT of patience and getting her involved in all the daily things I do that have to do with REI is turning her around.

write a business plan - Posted by eric-fl

Posted by eric-fl on February 07, 2001 at 14:38:24:

I mean a real, live one, just like a real business would. Because this IS real business, if you are doing it right, and serious about it. Make it a plan like any other you might take to a bank, with an executive summary, management section, marketing section, operations section, financial projections, etc. You should do this anyway, but in this case, of course, you’re not going to a loan officer or a venture capitalist. You’re going to someone much tougher, (and more important than any of them.)

There are several good resources available on how to construct a proper business plan. Make the plan, then structure the presentation to speak in the language of benefits, and convince your target audience to accept your point of view. If your spouse sees you treating this venture seriously, they should be inclined to treat it seriously as well.

Re: Husbands/Wives/Boyfriends/Girlfriends,etc… - Posted by SueC

Posted by SueC on February 06, 2001 at 14:13:54:

Carey, my husband is willing to go in on investing with me, as our full time business together, and I can’t believe it. He is already asking me hard questions, and asking for details, information, materials, to show him that this REI will work, and HOW it will work. He is probably the toughest partner I’d ever want. I tend to just do a seat-of-the-pants routine with investing, where he is much more thorough, detail oriented, and straight-forward about “Where’s the profit coming from?” While I might disagree with him, I know his tough questions and cold eye will make our business thrive!

My point here is: Education is the only way someone will understand something they aren’t familiar with. Your enthusiasm, and YOUR knowledge, is not enough. you have to show them. You can do it with a business plan, or by giving your partner information from this site, or other things to make your answers real, and not just seem like “hype” even though in your own head you know how it works. You have to make the knowledge materialize so that the other person feels that they know enough to become comfortable.

My husband asks me the hard questions, and this is a great opportunity for me to ask myself whether I’ve thought of that too! So, HAVE you thought of what you’d do in the event a deal goes south? IS your home and business protected legally? Use it as an opportunity to take steps to make you both more secure about your decision making, and therefore to make your business stronger. It’s not a guarantee that you won’t ever make a mistake, because you will. But at least you can assure your partner that their voice is being heard, and you can take advantage of the chance to make both your business and your relationship stronger.

Good luck!

Re: Husbands/Wives/Boyfriends/Girlfriends,etc… - Posted by Mark

Posted by Mark on February 06, 2001 at 09:26:56:

WElcome to the life,LOL I don’t think that any legeese will help the strain with the life partner.
TRY AS YOU MIGHT the only thing that will soften the attitude is a couple of deals that go well,it is nothing that we all haven’t went through before I just had to think back about 25 years !!Just go out and do your thing when all goes well ,with a well thought out plan, and the results are in the attitude will change.
25 years ago my wife looked at me with that look that said are you nuts !But at that time I was making about 30k per year when most freinds were making 15k.
In 2 weeks we are leaving for a 30 day vacation and cruise that costs more than I made in 1976,
She doesn’t have any doubts any more LOL

Re: Husbands/Wives/Boyfriends/Girlfriends,etc… - Posted by Paul NM

Posted by Paul NM on February 06, 2001 at 24:51:37:

Hi Carey,

I found The Cash Flow Quadrant book by Kiosyaki to be helpful for some of these discussions. If you and your significant other are in different quadrants the assumptions and therefore appropriate actions are so different communication is a serious problem. You are apt to chatter on about the really neat characteristics of a deal; unfortunately those are the exact things that scare the other party the most :slight_smile:

Protective techniques only work if you believe in them and hold firm when the going gets tough. The moment of truth will come when your S O meets the first process server :slight_smile: (It is my belief that if you are in business for any length of time you will get sued, and you will get named personally even if you do have a corp or LLC.)

If security is a synonym for predictability, then until you have a large cash flow from VERY stable sources your new occupation will NOT be as secure(predictable) as the job was. When you have a job you can mail your house payment on Monday because you know your paycheck will be direct deposited on Friday and the float will cover it. You aren’t going to do that if the money is coming from a scheduled closing are you :slight_smile:

I don’t mean to be negative; I just think this issue is more important and much more difficult than is generally appreciated. There were some good comfort suggestions in the other posts. I would say it would be worth spending some significant time and money to resolve these issues before you make your first big mistake. Kind of like a fire drill.


Find a new significant other :slight_smile: - Posted by SCook85

Posted by SCook85 on February 05, 2001 at 22:08:32:

Seriously, as far as the potential of problems such as getting sued etc… You will never get anywhere if you worry about what could go wrong. Things do go wrong and they always will. It is how you react to the situations. If you do things the right way chances are you won’t get sued, but if you happen to get sued and you do things the right way you can limit your losses.

Hope this helps,


Re: Find a new significant other :slight_smile: - Posted by Carey_PA

Posted by Carey_PA on February 05, 2001 at 22:22:17:

ummmm thanks Steve, but I think I’ll pass on the find a new significant other advice lol

and I am not worried about getting sued at all, but I’m just wondering how to set the “non-real estate investor” mind at ease…