Posted by Curtis on August 29, 2003 at 10:11:48:
Speaking of attorney’s I’m in NY and am looking for a recommedation for an attorney who does land trusts. Any info from seasoned investors would be welcomed. By the way Brent, keep your head up.
Sincerely
Curtis
My worse enemy is me; again. - Posted by Brent_IL
Posted by Brent_IL on August 28, 2003 at 20:44:05:
Talk about ironic!
From my mid-thirties on, I?ve realized that I have a self-destructive nature, but now I?m doing it far in advance.
About four or five years ago I taught a local attorney how to use forcible detainer actions as a sales and negotiating tool (don?t ask). Fast-forward to now, when he?s using the techniques that I taught him against me. He just sent me an email thanking me for his training and to wish me luck in any upcoming actions.
At least the ?thanks? part of it was sincere. Luckily, I won?t need luck.
Hmmm. Well, I disagree. - Posted by Ronald * Starr(in No CA)
Posted by Ronald * Starr(in No CA) on August 29, 2003 at 24:14:48:
Brent–(IL)---------------
I disagree. I think that your subject line could be written by the vast majority of real estate investors, even the “successful” ones. However, I don’t detect “self destructive” tendancies in this situation as you have presented it.
When you worked with the attorny, you were allied and so any education you gave to him was appropriate, I think. It helped you and perhaps could future help him. Nothing self-destructive there, I think.
Now, you are on opposite sides of the fence. Can happen. Could happen between partners, spouses, and client-tradesperson, it seems to me.
This analysis is void if you screwed up the relationship with the attorney in a self-destructive way.
I have a streak of self-harm behavior myself. I wait for somebody else–like mommy or daddy–to come and give me what I want, rather than self-reliantly taking responsibility for myself and acting directly to get what I want. I am workikng on getting out of this and have made good progress recently. But it is hard to take the responsibility for oneself when one is waiting for somebody else to do it.
Also, I have a tendancy to want pity from people. I want people to feel bad about the pain that they caused me by not giving me everything I wanted. So I want pepole to see how down I am and feel badly for me. Even though the current people are not the one who hurt me when I was young. Of course, the major folks then were, surprise, “mommy and daddy,” and they are not living any more.
Anyway, I hope through self-insight you can can make changes in how you view things and how you act so that you can ease off on the self-destructive actions.
Good Investing and Good PostingRon Starr********
Re: My worse enemy is me; again. - Posted by JohnBoy
Posted by JohnBoy on August 28, 2003 at 21:23:39:
Question? Were you a client of this attorney in the past? If so, how can he use this against you now? Isn’t that a conflict of interest on the attorney’s part?
Re: Hmmm. Well, I disagree. - Posted by Brent_IL
Posted by Brent_IL on August 29, 2003 at 03:26:45:
Thank you, Ron. The subject line was a tad skewed in the instant case. Like you, I’ve learned that most of the attitudes that I have today, particularly the ones that aren?t readily apparent, are a direct result of the relationship that I had with my parents, mainly with my Dad. Then, I think of the uphill climb that my own children face because of my actions.
But I don’t think about this for too long. It makes me sad.
I’m getting better at self-insight. Implementing change is proving to be more difficult.
Re: My worse enemy is me; again. - Posted by Brent_IL
Posted by Brent_IL on August 28, 2003 at 22:01:59:
Hi JohnBoy,
Someday, I’ll learn to write with clarity. When I retained him, it was he and I against them. We used it as a learning experience. His contemplated defense has nothing to do with the court actions of the past. Lawyer/client privilege doesn’t apply, so no conflict.
The knowledge he accumulated while I was paying the tab didn’t disappear. It was held in abeyance waiting for an appropriate adversary. It may be interesting, but the probability is that we will come to a mutual understanding, rather than duke it out in court.
I miss your frequent posts.
Brent
Amen. - Posted by Ronald * Starr(in No CA)
Posted by Ronald * Starr(in No CA) on August 29, 2003 at 06:27:53:
Brent–(IL)---------------
“I’m getting better at self-insight. Implementing change is proving to be more difficult.”
Amen, brother.
But I think insight is prior to change. Without it, I doubt there will be much change.
Good Investing and Good Self-Investigating********Ron Starr****************