Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by R. Taylor-Ohio

Posted by d.henderson on June 16, 2000 at 07:12:46:

What a wonderful compliment coming from the great Phil (whom I may add, I respect deeply because of his sharing when I first started)
Comes down to:

  1. Be professional
  2. Have a deal that everyone is happy with. Your seller, your investor and you.
  3. Honestly above all
  4. Hit the ground running, checking everything twice.
    Good Luck and just get on with it.

Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by R. Taylor-Ohio

Posted by R. Taylor-Ohio on June 15, 2000 at 10:03:37:

Okay , I found my niche to be wholesaling to investors and then gradually buying fixers-uppers. Although, the investors I found in my area are all men. This is no problem for me, but when I approached the ones listed in the classifieds 3 out of 7 did not respond well to me being a woman. One of them said to me that he was already working with someone and did not need me to bring him any deals. I thought profit was the name of the game–from whoever just as long as it was win-win. My approach was very casual and straight to business it could not of been my breath, I spoke with them on the phone!! What now?

If you approached 7 investors cold and 4 responded positively you are doing fantastically well. - Posted by GL

Posted by GL on June 16, 2000 at 11:32:09:

Cold calling is part of the real estate business as it is part of many sales type businesses.

Any experienced sales professional can tell you that a positive response from 4 out of seven is terrific. Most would be happy with one out of seven.

As for the other three, maybe they are not in the market right now for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Maybe they were very busy when you called. Maybe you were the 5th person who called that day trying to sell something and they were fed up for reasons having nothing to do with you.

Honest, if you expect a one hundred percent response of love respect and affection you are not going to get it and it is unrealistic to expect it.

If you call the the same 3 mean old grouches in a month or 2 there is a good chance you will get a much more positive response from at least some of them because they are in the position to buy and are looking for what you have to sell. And after a few months and a few phone calls, letters etc. they will know you are not another fly by night flake.


Would they treat you differently if you were a boy? - Posted by GL

Posted by GL on June 15, 2000 at 23:33:38:

Yes! They would be a lot RUDER! LOL!

Why would someone not want to deal with you? Because you are a beginner? Because they are ALL OUT OF MONEY? Because they already bit off more than they could chew? What if they had some such reason, would they say ‘Sorry I’m broke and I have so many deals in the air I am ready for a strait jacket’? Or would they make an excuse? If they were WOMEN would they tell a stranger every embarrassing detail about their business or would they try to make themselves look good? Well so do men.

I have been around the real estate business for a lot of years and I can tell you that women generally get treated BETTER than men. Though they won’t believe it. If you were a boy you would be getting an earful believe me.

If you want to be in real estate you HAVE to deal with WOMEN EVERY DAY!!! Women real estate agents, women lawyers, women buyers, women sellers, women title searchers, women secretaries etc. etc. etc.

Any man who is uncomfortable, or cannot deal with WOMEN would go nuts and drop out of real estate in about a week. So don’t think they are refusing to deal with you because you are a WOMAN.

Re: Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by Tee

Posted by Tee on June 15, 2000 at 21:17:26:

I get the same problem because I’m a black woman. I get the most disrespect from black men. It doesn’t stop the ball from rolling, only the admittance of a stumbling block will!!

Re: Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by Rob FL

Posted by Rob FL on June 15, 2000 at 20:44:48:

Read Chapter 2 of “The Magic of Thinking Big.” It talks about overcoming the disease of Excuse-Itis. I am too old, too young, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too pretty, too black, too white, too hispanic, a woman, a man, a Catholic, a Baptist, a Muslim, etc. Get the point. JP Vaughan is female, so is Jackie Lange, Millie, Sandy FL, Susan FL, Steph TX, etc. I bought my first rental property at age 22. Do you think most investors took me seriously back then??? I turned 30 this year and have a few gray hairs, so now the age thing isn’t as tough to overcome. However, most of my peers are still 10 or 20 years my senior.

It is your ATTITUDE that is showing. You need SELF-CONFIDENCE. This is achieved by reading lots of success books, listening to lots of positive thinking books, getting around successful people, educating yourself, and just plain working your head off for a while.

Best wishes. You CAN be successful if you are persistent and work hard at it.

I was born a poor… - Posted by Jim IL

Posted by Jim IL on June 15, 2000 at 19:34:36:

…white Boy!

Dear “R”, (whatever that means?)
Give me a freakin break!
I am SO tired of people crying saying "They won’t do, (Whatever), because of my race, my gender, my disability or some outside reason!.
This “politically correct thing has gone too far!”

You have admitted to being rather new at this.
What was said during the conversation by YOU?
Did you sound professional?
Did you bring the investors a deal?
Why not?
See, there are tens of thousands of “Seminar grads” out there calling people all the time trying to buy or sell homes.
Those of us who do this full time and rely on it as our bread and butter may very well give someone new and lost the blow off.
Not because of any OUTSIDE reason, just because TIME IS MONEY!
So, get some thicker skin and keep at it.
A good deal will get sold, plain and simple!

If a few investors not falling over and hanging on to your name like it is life blood makes you think they will not do business with you because you are female, then get another job, this ain’t for you!
Heck, I’d buy a house from Bill Clinton if it was a good deal, and I REALLY DISLIKE CLINTON!

So, lighten up Francis!

Have a nice day,
Jim IL

P.S. And, before too many people here jump on me, I’ll admit it, “Yes! Indeed! Darned near half of my family is female!”

Re: Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by MilNC

Posted by MilNC on June 15, 2000 at 18:29:56:

Feel free to email me. I have a few thoughts.
There are a lot of successful women RE investors.
I went to a seminar recently by a woman in your
neck of the woods.


Re: Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by B.L.Renfrow

Posted by B.L.Renfrow on June 15, 2000 at 14:36:35:

When someone says they are not successful because they are _______________ (female, male, black, Asian, short, gay, overweight, etc.) this is typically an EXCUSE, not a reason.

I may have been born at night…but not LAST night. I know discrimination exists in many aspects of our society in the US. But in this case, it is simply an EXCUSE.

Many investors don’t deal with newbies, for the simple fact that they don’t have the experience to put together good deals. Experienced investors in major metropolitan areas may get calls every day from newbies wanting to flip them deals. Problem is, they AREN’T deals. These investors don’t want to take the time necessary to educate the newbie about how to negotiate, so the response to ANY newbie (male, female) is that they are already working with enough people. Learn to put together good deals, and I can assure you you will have plenty of buyers to take them off your hands.

Or, maybe these guys ARE simply jerks. So what? Forget about them and move on. I run into jerks all the time, both in my profession and in my RE business. Don’t let them shorten YOUR life span by raising your blood pressure!

Some of the most successful “regulars” on this board are women: Steph from TX, Carol FL, Millie, and many others.

It’s like that baseball movie set in my home state of Iowa: if you get the deals, the buyers will come. Learn how to negotiate good deals, and leave enough profit in the deal for the end investor. Do this, and you’ll have no problem.

Brian (NY)

Re: Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by Stacy (AZ)

Posted by Stacy (AZ) on June 15, 2000 at 12:43:19:

Don’t pay any attention to fools. Bring them a good deal, and we’ll see who cares about gender. My guess: dollars will cancel-out gender bias in a nanosecond. If not, it’s their loss.

You may have to grow a thicker skin. Even though we’d all like it if everyone played nice, there are people you’ll have to deal with, occasionally, that couldn’t care less about you or your end of the deal. This is a people business after all, and not every one of them are gems. But then again, our goal isn’t to make life-long friends, it’s to make money.

Don’t get discouraged, get refocussed. Good luck!


Re: Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by Vic

Posted by Vic on June 15, 2000 at 12:34:42:

How do you know that he didn’t want to work with you because you’re a girl. Isn’t that jumping to a conclusion that may not be true at all?


If at first you don’t succeed… - Posted by SusanL.–FL

Posted by SusanL.–FL on June 15, 2000 at 10:40:06:

Keep beating the bushes!

If one (investor) doesn’t want the deal, the next one will!

Perseverence girl! Show’em you have what it takes!!


Re: Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by phil fernandez

Posted by phil fernandez on June 15, 2000 at 10:14:41:

Find and bring them the deals and they’ll buy from you regardless of your gender. Only a fool would walk away from a profitable deal because you are female. As much as anything, the guy probably needs you to prove yourself that you can indeed find the deals.

Keep at it. You’ll be fine.

Who IS this masked man… - Posted by SusanL.–FL

Posted by SusanL.–FL on June 16, 2000 at 09:15:25:


Hey Brian!

Good post!!!


Your Right Brian - Posted by phil fernandez

Posted by phil fernandez on June 15, 2000 at 18:36:24:

Steph Tx, Millie, Carol Fl and Dee are excellent examples of females doing a great job as active real estate investors.

A salute to them not because they are women, but because they’re super investors who I respect.

Re: Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by R. Taylor-Oh

Posted by R. Taylor-Oh on June 15, 2000 at 13:06:50:

No, I did not jump to an invalid the conclusion that these investors had reserves about working with my gender, I simply felt it which left no other reason. During the conversation with the investor who works with someone, he in fact, stated that he works with several “gentlemen” that bring him deals and he did not need any more brought to him. That alone made me assume gender was an issue, why put emphasis on “gentlemen” when “people” would suffice. Nevertheles, this is just one of the small thorns that I will cross to my bed of roses. I choose to be the best at what I do, thanks to all for responding, I must push on to the next investor.

Re: Problem! IM A GIRL! - Posted by Scott

Posted by Scott on June 16, 2000 at 09:41:22:

As a relative newbie who’s posted here a few times I might offer some input. Based on what I’ve experienced, a lot of more experienced investors treat the business as their own little ‘private club’. Regardless of gender, race, whatever, they’re reluctant to admit anyone new to their club. They treat you with disrespect, are condescending in the worst way, don’t have the common courtesy to return phone calls or emails, the list goes on and on.
In my “regular” 9-5 world I am a respected professional in my field (Information Systems by the way)but have encountered the same tactics from more “experienced” people here as well. Insight has taught me that nine times out of ten people that treat you this way are full of FEAR and INSECURITY. They use their conceit, arrogance, and disrespect as a way to mask the fact that they’re scared to death you might actually have the self confidence to succeed, and God forbid achieve even greater success than them.
You know what? People are people, no matter what line of business you are in. I used their insecurities to further motivate me in my professional life, as I plan to with my real estate investing. The funny thing is that now several of those ‘experienced’ individuals now work for ME. ha! Believe in yourself, stay motivated, and nobody can stand in your way - no matter what sex, race, religion, etc… you are!