Reefer Magnet Marketing - Posted by Cletus
Posted by Cletus on May 30, 2007 at 08:53:15:
Reefer Magnet Marketing -
There are two types of people in this world. Those that collect refrigerator magnets, and those who don?t own refrigerators. At least in these parts. No one around here with an icebox seems to be able to resist those ornaments, and let?s face it?where in the world is a better place to keep that bail bond guys number than right there with the food. When ol? junior calls, wakin? you up in the mornin? needin? family assistance with another drinkin? excursion gone bad, he?s glad to know you can?t even get near another beer without havin? to stare at ol? Buck ?Guido? Johnson?s number and feel guilty.
Anyway, havin? the brilliant deducktable mind that I do, I figured out a way to use reefer magnets to shoot my rei business into the next stratosphere, meteorphorically speakin, of course. I?m not goin? anywhere, but my new ?Reefer Magnet? guru marketing course will be the next best thing to ownin? my own still. That?s right, liquid assets never go out of style.
Anyway here?s how it works?along with the books and the DVDs and the boot camp, I?ll control the source for the refrigerator magnets. Pretty clever, huh? I mean the reefer magnet monopoly part. Think about it. Who else is doin? this? I?ll provide my students with refrigerator magnets that have their name and number on them along with all that ?We have what it takes to take what you have? logo stuff.
Anyway, it won?t be the logo stuff that makes my magnet concept cool. It?ll be the refrigerator. Naw, I?m just kiddin?. What makes the concept so cool is that each magnet will have a picture of a big ol? bass sucking down a cold one with its head held high and its tail in the classic curled up mermaid pose leanin? against a ?57 Chevy and smilin? big at the camera. Now, I know what you?re thinkin?. You?re thinkin? a bass and a Chevy really won?t cut it with the catfish/Ford guys, but you get the picture.
Anyway, nobody can resist such a thing of beauty, so they will want to put that magnet with my student?s name and numbers tastefully plastered all over it, right up there on the refrigerator next to the pizza guys number for future gazing. When the time comes that even the pizza guy won?t deliver to their house, there won?t be any need for pandilirium, no sir, ol? Here I Come To Save The Day, LLC?s contact numbers will be starin? ?em straight in the face every time they look in the fridge to see if there is any food they missed the last time they checked for any food that might have been overlooked in there. They?ll have that big ol? bass suckin? downin? a cold one just attractin? their attention like a magnet.
Anyway, I?ve already told you way too much without gettin? your credit card info, so I?ll have to make this brief?If my new course isn?t everything I say it is and more, I?ll take back everything I said about it. And more. I mean that. I?ll not only guarantee my reefer magnets will stick to any refrigerator, I?ll guarantee the refrigerator will stick back. And that kind of piece of mind is exactly what the world needs more of. So the next time you?re wonderin? how to get sellers to call you, remember, you?re just two easy payments of $39.95 away from learnin? my secret and becomin? everything I knew you could be. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. (Reefer magnets sold separately.)