Some Cues From Atlanta - Posted by Natalie

Posted by Rich on January 31, 2000 at 20:17:29:…But…many.times.when


Some Cues From Atlanta - Posted by Natalie

Posted by Natalie on January 29, 2000 at 08:17:30:

As some of you might already know, I am a newbie to this field. However, I am finding a lot of support from various people who frequent this site and for this I am grateful.

At this point, though I do not have much experience in real estate as such, rather than as a real estate attorney in Europe, where the system is highly regulated and there’s not much room for creativity (at least where I come from) - I would now really like to share something with you. Something in which I do have a bit of experience. And this is something that many people, including - or should I say ESPECIALLY - real estate investors HAVE to deal with all the time. And this is HOW TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE.

A few days ago I called a seller. He was obviously an experienced investor because of the way he spoke. He dominated the very short conversation we had and never left me time to ask any questions. When I managed to actually utter a few words and ask him about the house he was elling - he merely said “Go and see it, it’s open”. At that point he put the receiver down without saying so much as “bye”. Now let’s think about something. What he’s offering might be a darn good deal. But what would you think at that particular point in time? Would you be super eager to go an take a look at the house? Or would you be more tempted to think: “I really DO NOT WANT to deal with this person” and simply move on to the next seller.

What happens when you meet people who behave in this closed manner? By now you must have realized that 80% or more of every deal you make is pure psychology, the rest is education. You can have all the education you want - which is great and it’s a MUST to have. But if you do not know how to handle people - especially difficult people (whom you will meet very often), then education won’t mean that much at the end of the day.

The most obvious way to determine what type of person you’re dealing with is to observe the body language. That can tell you how open or how closed the person is. That is if you’re actually standing face to face with that particular person. That person might not have uttered a single word - but YOU KNOW just what he’s like and what he’s thinking.

Now have you ever wonedered why the people who are selling these courses keep pumping into us that we MUST GIVE OUT THE IMAGE THAT WE ARE PROBLEM SOLVERS.We must convince people that we are there to help them, to solve their issues, to get them out of a bad situation. This is very true. Nothing could be truer in fact. But why? It’s all psychology, you know. Have you ever met anyone and you think: “There’s something about this person that I like. I cannot quite put my finger on it. But I like her”. And it’s not only you…but everybody likes this person. Contrarily, you might say the opposite about somebody else.

So what is this phenomenon? When you meet someone like that - just sit there and observe, because you’re going to learn a lot about human behaviour and different reactions to it. These are some of the conclusions I have drawn. A person is well liked usually because that person GIVES ATTENTION to whoever is speaking to him / her at that particular point in time. Undivided attention. He or she makes you feel like you’re the most important person in the world for that split second.

Once you can pick this up…and practice it…you will get much more buyers and sellers than you ever imagined. It might take a while to get into the race, especially as a beginner. But you get there much sooner as an open person who is aware and respectful of the essence of human nature - than one who couldn’t care less and goes about his/her way as if nobody else exists.

Give attention. As much as you can. Show them you mean what you say. Show them you’re on their side. Give them YOUR TIME. And they will NEVER forget you.

Thanks for reading. Have a great day.


About Europe… - Posted by Alexander (Fl)

Posted by Alexander (Fl) on January 29, 2000 at 12:05:14:


I dabble in real estate investment in France and Italy. What countries have you worked in?


Re: Some Cues From Atlanta - Posted by Dave McBride

Posted by Dave McBride on January 29, 2000 at 11:28:43:


While I wholeheartedly agree with your post in general, when it comes to buying and selling real estate, I must take some exception.

I will agree its too bad that Investor/Seller treated you the way he did, but you know what? If there’s a deal there to be had, I could care less if he’s a jerk. From a monetary perspective, if the numbers look good upon inspection and thru negotiation, who cares? I’m not in this business primarily to make friends and be nice to people. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying I act like a jerk to folks (I don’t), but I am in this business for one reason: MONEY! Yup, thats it. The dough. So if this investor/seller is jerk and I can still make a buck, I don’t care about him in the least. His personality is his problem, not mine. And I’m not going to be dumb enough to ignore a potentially good deal just b/c someone happens to have a personality I don’t particularly care for.

As a seller, the same argument can be made: how many gosh darn calls do you get when you advertise 0% down or an assumable loan or owner financing deal? I get tons! And the VAST majority of them couldn’t qualify to buy a microwave, let alone my house. So after awhile you get to do business like Joe Kaiser does: the “Bingo, bango, bongo” theory. He’s got a deal, if you’re interested go check it out. If not, no problem. with the terms I’m creating, I will have tons of people lining up to do business with me.

And why would you be interested as a buyer of my house? Well, you know the laundry list of reasons. And b/c of that, you got to do things other folks don’t have to or don’t want to do. Is that fair? Yeah, in my view it is. If I’m a buyer, maybe I can get into that house even though my credit stinks or I haven’t been on my job too long or I filed BK 3 yrs ago. Or maybe I’m an investor and I can get into that house without the typical bank required 20% down. Is it inconvenient to deal with this junk? Sure it is. Do I wish investors weren’t nasty like the one you dealt with? Of course. But the potential upside (i.e money in MY pocket) well outweighs the difficulties I might have in dealing with the principals involved.

Again, Natalie, you bring up some good points but I sure as heck would not let them dictate my actions in trying to do deals. I would be closing myself off from potential windfalls when my entire marketing focus is to attract as many deals as I can possibly create.

Dave McBride

Re: Some Cues From Atlanta - Posted by Tommy_FL

Posted by Tommy_FL on January 29, 2000 at 10:22:39:

Natalie, you are 100% right…You don’t know how many times I have given up a deal or a loan just because of the way the seller or the broker talked to me. Thank God, that there are out there sensitive, compassionate and intelligent people that I can deal with. But like you said, the most important thing in Life is the way how people communicate with each other…Thanks for sharing this and I hope that Rude people will take time to think just a little bit about themselves and review their attitude. And this will definitely be to their own advantage.

This is so true, good post Natilie… (nt) - Posted by Mark-NC

Posted by Mark-NC on January 29, 2000 at 09:00:24:


Re: About Europe… - Posted by Natalie

Posted by Natalie on January 29, 2000 at 15:01:29:

Hi Alexander,

I was a real estate attorney in Malta - it’s an island right below Italy (Sicily actually). What about you? Are you American?


Re: Some Cues From Atlanta - Posted by Natalie

Posted by Natalie on January 29, 2000 at 14:59:09:

Hello Dave,

I liked your response and I agree 100% with it. Actually - did I ever mention in my message that I would ever refuse a deal “just because the seller is rude”? And what would that be? I met enough rude people even as a real estate attorney - buy THEY were the ones giving me the MONEY, so as you said…who cares? However, you mentioned “good terms”. Ah yes - wise words those.

That is it - as you say, there MUST be something to attract you to a deal…and that something, of course, is the money. But what if the terms are not that spectacular? Where are we then? It takes only one time - because NASTY and NO MONEY can really beat up a seller. I would have my number in my telephone book and make sure not to call him / her again after trying for 2 or 3 times. And there goes the business. Where’s the money? Nowhere in sight of course…

Personally, I do not give two hoots - quite frankly - how rude or polite a person is. I really have no time to worry about that. I have dealt with all kinds of people in my life. Nice and nasty and all the shades in between. So? However - my point was that there are ways to deal with people like that too. Difficult people…there are ways and ways.

I just hope that my message was a little bit of an eye opener for some people and an encouragement for others. It’s not detailed - there’s no space for giving a psychology course on here… even though it wouldn’t be a bad idea.

And thank you for your statements - they are very true. If a deal is good, you go for it anyway. IF A DEAL IS GOOD…and does that happen all the time when the seller is so-called “rude”, does it? No it doesn’t…


Re: Some Cues From Atlanta - Posted by Dave McBride

Posted by Dave McBride on January 29, 2000 at 15:54:14:

Hi Natalie,

I’m glad we are on the same page when it comes to dealing with complex personalities. The main thrust of my answer was not to criticize your suggestions as they are very good in getting sellers to develop a “Warm & fuzzy” for you, but rather for the newbies reading your post who might not pursue a deal primarily b/c the seller is not the nicest person out there. I also wanted to point out that that when you’re selling houses, its OK to not be Mr./Ms. Wonderful to every potential buyer out there. Again, I’m not saying you need or should act like a jerk, but it is OK to treat potential buyers as just cogs in your profit machine.

Finally, I must comment briefly on your query of “what if the terms aren’t so spectacular”? If the terms of any I look aren’t spectacular or darn close, then guess what? As Terry Vaughan says “I ain’t playin’ that game”


Re: Some Cues From Atlanta - Posted by Natalie

Posted by Natalie on January 29, 2000 at 16:03:56:


You ain’t playing that game, huh? Precisely my point. And who’s losing? Not you, of course…nor me…

Have a great day