Argue your limitations and they are yours forever - Posted by John Behle
Posted by John Behle on March 27, 2006 at 19:40:57:
Interesting post Nimesh. Thanks for sharing that. I took a few moments to share some of my thoughts on the subject and I am posting it here because it is on the same topic, but not necessarily a response directed right to you or your post, just my thoughts and experience about the subject.
There is great power in positive affirmations - when applied correctly.
Saying “I am going to be a millionaire next year” a hundred times a day does little. Picturing yachts and adding emotion to the statement can produce some better results, but not by much.
There is more to it than that. Not to discount the incredible power of affirmation in any way, but there are other ingredients. The challenge is they are hard to explain on paper. It’s something that is easiest demonstrated in a training room environment.
The problem is PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) is the tip of the iceberg. Our conscious mind has some power, but it is insignificant in comparison to the weight, momentum and direction of our sub-conscious or un-conscious mind.
All the affirmations in the world can do little if inside someone doesn’t believe they can be wealthy or deserve wealth. Over time it can have some effect on the subconscious, but it’s slow and low.
There’s more to those Napolean Hill studied than having a positive attitude and using conscious programming. There is a deeper inner belief. It grows over time, it has a lot to do with environment, it can be changed, but it is un-believably powerful. Taking someone off the street and trying to positively program their conscious minds will do little.
But, it does have power. If it is directed at and designed to reshape those inner beliefs. A couple great examples I like. One was a program designed to help people with the challenge of alcohol overuse. It had an extremely high success rate and low recidivism. The secret? For twenty minutes a day the participants visualized themselves living a normal life.
Another example I like. A controlled study in an experimental way. They took three groups and tested them at the start and the end of the several week time period with basketball “free throws”. Group A practiced for twenty minutes a day. Group B was the control group and did not practice or improve.
Group C was what was interesting. They sat in a chair at the free throw line and visualized making baskets. Of the three groups, the control group of course did not improve. The group that practiced improved by 18% and what is interesting is the group that “Visualized” improved by almost exactly the same amount.
Visualization is wonderful with things like that. But, it has a hard time over-riding our internal programming. It is far more effective to do it in conjunction with other things. Especially since we most of the time do not know our internal programming. It runs and rules us moment by moment and day by day, yet we may be totally unaware of what it really is.
We have things called “Self Defeating Behaviors” an excellent book if you can find it is called “Eliminating your Self Defeating Behaviors” by a well known psychologist whose first name is all I can remember at the moment - Jonathon (I think it might be Chamberlain). I’ll go see if there are any used copies on Amazon or something updated. Basically, the premise is discovering and dealing with the self defeating behaviors (SDB’s) that influence our actions. The part of the iceberg under the surface that we don’t see or may not even know about. He has some very effective techniques to discover and deal with them.
A giant influence is our LIMITING BELIEFS. These are beliefs that can be as simple as “I’m not good at sports or math or whatever”. We may be conscious of them or not. But, they can have deep roots. When it comes to business, wealth, achievement and success, they can get in the way in almost an insurmountable manner. What happens is when people get out of their comfort zone and up against one of these beliefs they will most of the time find a way to prove the belief right. Much of the time that ends up in self sabotage. Someone starts making money and then loses it - because those beliefs are so strong and real to our subconscious that they MUST be right. The must be validated. Silently, secretly our conscious helps set us up to prove those beliefs. Thus you end up with someone that might be brilliant and knowledgeable yet a financial ZIGGY. Great ideas, great failures. Someone always does them in. They hook up with partners or trust someone that crashes the plane so to speak.
I love the statement “Argue your limitations and they are yours forever”. It can be so easy to see sometimes. You’ll see people argue loud and strong how they are no good at math or something like that. It both shows what their limiting beliefs are and reinforces them. Until we discover, somewhat understand and deal with the limiting beliefs, all the “surface work” like PMA seminars or even affirmations are fighting against a large and firmly entrenched force.
We have a comfort zone that is hard to break out of. When people try to break out they usually use that as an opportunity to sabotage. I HATE new year’s resolutions. They are such a setup for failure to most people. I used to laugh through much of January. I would lift weights 6 days a week two hours a day. The first two weeks of January I would have to adjust my schedule to come real early, real late or something because there would be so many new faces at the gym. The attendance would double or triple. Yet, two, three or four weeks later - they are all gone. Once in a while someone broke through and a new face stayed. Most broke their resolutions and went back to their same old day to day. No one should set a goal that they don?t keep. No one should set a goal that is un-realistic. Each goal set and not achieved adds to the burden of limiting beliefs and failure that gets in the way of achievement.
That is how most people treat goals and resolutions. They are un-realistic and held too lightly. When it comes to business and finance it can be the same way. People set goals to be a ?millionaire? when they do not really believe it and are not committed to it. They are vague, wishy washy, un-specific and UN-REALISTIC. No goal is out of range, no amount of money or success. It is only out of range for certain people at certain times. There is a way to tell. There is a way to increase our capacity for wealth. But just saying it doesn?t do it. Feeling emotional about it doesn?t do it alone. There is more.
In a seminar room I can illustrate this. In type it may only work if people are willing to pause and do the exercise. Read the next line and then pause. Notice the result and what you feel before moving on. We?ll look at a one year goal or affirmation. Repeat the affirmation.
?It is now April 1st 2007 and in the last year I have increased my net worth by One Million dollars.? What went through your head? Usually, there is a ?No Way!? There would be disbelief for most people. And, when there is disbelief, it is outside their comfort zone. It is NOT going to happen no matter how many times a day someone says it or how often they go out and test drive new Corvettes.
Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve. We must be able to conceive it as being possible. It has to seem real. We have to have some concept that it can happen, others have done it, there is a plan and procedure to do it. Our mind has to be able to grasp it. Believe. We have to believe it is possible for us. We have to believe we deserve it and have the capacity and ability to do it. Then and only then is it possible. So let?s try the affirmation again with a twist.
?It is now April 1st 2007 and in the last year I have increased my net worth by One hundred dollars.?. What is the inner response then? What were the thoughts that came to mind. For most people it is ?No way!? Too small, too little, not enough of a goal, not enough of a stretch.
The thing is, somewhere between ?No Way!? and ?No Way!? there is a number. There is a number that a clear thinking person can grasp, believe in, conceive as possible and commit to. That should be the goal. A number that someone absolutely knows they could do. A number that they could commit to if their life depended on it. It doesn?t matter if it seems low. That?s great, achieve it and move on. Achieve it in a month or two and have a success. Don?t chose a number that is too high and have another failure. Go from success to success.
You expand your comfort zone through realistic goal setting and what I call ?Intention?. You expand it by breaking through it in ways. That includes stretching, and risking. Taking steps that might seem intimidating or in a sense scary. Support is great for this - like a Mastermind Group. Getting to the heart of what the beliefs are that create the comfort zone and dealing with those can be powerful. There are non-real estate oriented seminars and trainings that are very good in dealing with those areas. I value my knowledge of myself, other people and the inner elements of success far more than my real estate knowledge. All the knowledge in the world will not make someone rich. Some people that are rich are truly not that smart. Yet some of the most knowledgeable and even brilliant people I have ever met have little success. What they do lack is an inner knowledge of success and themselves.
Knowledge doesn?t lead to success. Goal setting doesn?t. Positive affirmations doesn?t. There is an inner belief, drive and factor that is all important. Fighting against it is like trying to drain a large swimming pool with spoon or even a fork. Shifting it. Changing the beliefs and dealing with them can make a shift that produces immediate and immeasurable results.
There is a belief, inner drive and determination inside successful people that far exceeds any outward affirmations, positive self talk or goals. The good news is it is available to all. No one is financially crippled or limited, only their beliefs limit them. They are beliefs that can be altered towards the positive. It?s not about hard work, knowledge or even resources and opportunity. If real estate didn?t exist most successful real estate investors would be successful somewhere else. If computers didn?t exist, Bill Gates would likely have the same measure of success some other way. Yes, it?s nice to have a good plan. A good method. A good vehicle to take us towards success. Real estate provides that, but success is not about the opportunity, it is about intention.