what to do... - Posted by Andy Sutorius

Posted by Ed Garcia on June 21, 1999 at 11:20:36:


Since no one answered your question, I will.

After you mentioning 7 choices or circumstances to which you feel you
have to work with. I picked my choice.

First of all you are going to have to face the fact that you are going to
have some inconvenience for a while.

The key, is to try and keep that time frame as short as possible.
Mom has created a great inconvenience for you and your family.
She has to realize that she is created a hardship as well.

With out making mom feel that she is doing what I just said, you must
convince her that it would be in everybody?s best interest if she sold
her house, and that she and you bought the house that you described
together, with her taking the equity of approximately $65,000 she
receives from the sale of her house, and applying it to the new purchase
as the down payment.

This will give mom the feeling that she is contributing as well, and not
make her feel like a complete burden.

You don?t mention if your house will rent for the payment, but if it
doesn?t you then can buy some time to sell it, because mom no longer
has her payment on the $25,000 balance she was paying on. I also figure,
even though you didn?t mention it, that mom must be getting
social security. Or must have some sort of income, where she is able to
pay her way as well.

Andy, I know that this is going to be hard on you, and require a lot of
understanding by your wife. Make sure that your wife is part of the
decisions that you and your mother make. She is your partner and must
have a say so in all decisions made.

Good Luck,

Ed Garcia

what to do… - Posted by Andy Sutorius

Posted by Andy Sutorius on June 20, 1999 at 13:49:49:

My mother has had severe breast to bone cancer forover 1.5 years and I think within the next 14 days that she will be coming to live the remainder of her life with me and my wife so that we can better take care of her. In other words, she’s not doing as well as she was living by herself. Currently she lives 3.5 hours away and has enjoyed her independence but the pain is taking that away from her.

Issue#1: Our house is to small (1400 sq. ft.) for the 3 of us to live “comfortably”

Issue#2: She lives in a $90,000 (approx. market value) house with a $25,000 payoff

Issue#3: My wife and I live in a $100,000 (approx. market value) house with a $90,000 payoff

Issue#4: We have looked at 2 houses for sale in our area that have “mother-in-law suites” and would be “perfect” for the 3 of us, not to mention perfect as our “next step up” house.

Issue#5: Do we consider renting either / neither / both of the houses?

Issue#6: TIME, we don’t have a lot of it. Selling either / both houses could take forever, leaving us with living in “cramped” and down right unacceptable quarters.

Issue#7: MONEY, we don’t have enough money to afford 2 mortgages (i.e. keep paying on our current house and purchase the ‘step-up house’)

Any help/advice/wisdom would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!