(((((((((((((Legal question about my loser brother))))))))))))))))) - Posted by eric

Posted by Laure on June 16, 2000 at 22:49:54:


(((((((((((((Legal question about my loser brother))))))))))))))))) - Posted by eric

Posted by eric on June 15, 2000 at 16:37:49:

My brother is a drunk, high school drop out, wanna-be realtor and a 3 time loser. My mother is an elderly widow. My brother is cleaning out my mom one piece of property at a time. He has already had several pieces of property quit claimed over to him, is living in one of mom’s rentals for free and has “borrowed” tens of thousands. He has never stood on his own two feet his entire life. My wife and I both have degrees and good careers. Mom “feels sorry” for my poor brother.

I’ll just come right out and say it. I WANT MY FAIR SHARE BEFORE HE DRINKS IT ALL UP!!!

What can I do to put a stop to this? I did not want to hire an attorney and go to war, but I am sick of this!

Talk with your minister or rabbi. - Posted by Andrew Smith (Phila)

Posted by Andrew Smith (Phila) on June 18, 2000 at 11:27:03:

I sympathize with you as it sounds as though you are in a very bad situation. What percentage of your Mother’s wealth has your brother squandered? Are there other siblings involved other than you and your brother? A family problem was bothering me a lot until I talked with my minister on the phone for about an hour. I’m just offering that as a suggestion as you seem to be very angry with your brother. Your anger is certainly understandable but probably doesn’t do you, your mother or your brother any good. Good luck.

Where does this leave Mom, penniless in her old age? - Posted by GL

Posted by GL on June 15, 2000 at 23:17:16:

It is time you had a frank but non confrontational talk with Mom. Does she really understand what she is doing? Is she being manipulated or browbeaten? Does she need your help or protection? It is possible she is uneasy about the way things are going but does not know what to do. Perhaps she feels she has helped enough but does not know how to draw the line.

My first concern would be to protect Mom and see that she keeps her assets and her income for her own use.

Re: (((((((((((((Legal question about my loser brother))))))))))))))))) - Posted by Rob FL

Posted by Rob FL on June 15, 2000 at 20:31:02:

Have you talked to your mother and brother about this? It sounds like he needs some help. Families are supposed to help each other. Maybe AA would do him some good.

As for the whole jealousy, inheritance stealing thing, it sounds like a typical story from the Millionaire Next Door. This is your mother’s money not yours. As long as she is mentally able, she should be able to do what she wants with her money.

Real answers to crazy questions. - Posted by Emily T

Posted by Emily T on June 15, 2000 at 19:32:38:

Hi Eric.

First and foremost “Quit your whinning” I don’t want to sound harsh or anything, but your brother is like you said a loser! You as well as your wife have good carreers. Be happy for that, and live off of what you two generate. Why are you looking to dip into someones pockets for a freebie or a handout if you will?. Let your brother continue to be a sponge. It can only go until he spends all of the assets. You said he has had several properties quit claimed to him (smiles) Ah, does he want to liquidate some assets? Can you give me your bro’s phone number? How much cash does he need? I want to talk to this loser Eric! I can solve his problem as far as the cash is concerned. I’ll make him an all cash offer and close in a few days if needed

Eric, buddy, get a grip son. Forget about it! You can’t win!

Emily T

Re: (((((((((((((Legal question about my loser brother))))))))))))))))) - Posted by ericc

Posted by ericc on June 16, 2000 at 13:18:20:

No, I do not think she is all there anymore. She has stacks of “letters” she is writing to people like Oprah Winfrey. She thinks Oprah is going to go into business with her. She is driving a car with no insurance on it though she has money in the bank. Talks out of her head at times.

My brother will not change. A lost cause. I know I can hire an attorney and try to get power of attorney. I just wonder if I should. I am sure I will become public enemy #1 in the family if I do.

What is the best way to get power of attorney? If anyone knows.

Re: Real answers to crazy questions. - Posted by eric

Posted by eric on June 16, 2000 at 13:24:20:

My brother will ruin my mother and put her in a nursing home (or in my home) if I take your “advice.” Watching someone drink your mother into the poor house isn’t very smart.

I have decided to hire an attorney and clean house. If you were in my position, I doubt you would take your own advice.

Re: (((((((((((((Legal question about my loser brother))))))))))))))))) - Posted by Rob FL

Posted by Rob FL on June 16, 2000 at 15:53:49:

If she is mentally unable to take care of herself, the power of attorney would probably be considered ineffective in a court of law. You probably need to contact an attorney and have her declared mentally incompetent. A guardianship proceeding would need to be opened. The attorney could then say that all the quit-claim deeds to your brother should be set aside because your mother did not know what she was doing.

At least that is how we do it in Florida.

Good luck with this. It sounds like you have your hands full.

Have a talk with Mom and her lawyer. - Posted by GL

Posted by GL on June 16, 2000 at 15:09:47:

First have a talk with Mom and offer to help her. Not to do what you want her to, to do what she wants to do and help her.

Also talk to her lawyer and express your concerns. Perhaps the 3 of you can get together and work something out.

Make sure everything is done in a legal above board fashion. Make sure your mother gets independent legal advice. In the end, if there is any question of you having done the right thing or overstepping the bounds, if you have your Mom’s lawyer as a witness that everything was kosher there is nothing anyone can say or do.

You may get some heat from other relatives - after you do all the work - but you might be surprised how little. It may be other relatives would like to see something done too. In any case do not do anything under the table. Tell them what is going on and offer to let them help. Try to get them to take some real responsibility such as straightening out tenant problems. Chances are they will run a mile and never let a peep out of them again. On the other hand they may pitch in. What’s to lose?

The worst thing to do is to do nothing. The next worst would be to try to keep everything quiet and do it all yourself. If you do everything above board and let everyone know what is going on they will not have a kick coming.

Re: Real answers to crazy questions. - Posted by Stacy (AZ)

Posted by Stacy (AZ) on June 16, 2000 at 14:31:23:

Eric, good decision. I applaud your willingness to step-up and do what’s right, even though it won’t be easy. Your mother is lucky to have you for a son.