She caught with me with my shorts down! - Posted by Vince

Posted by $Cash$ on July 03, 2002 at 15:58:00:


You are absolutely correct. Community Property States, etc. & it goes on and on. My thrust was on talk to all the owners together, no matter who they are.

Thanks for helping,


She caught with me with my shorts down! - Posted by Vince

Posted by Vince on July 02, 2002 at 23:03:41:

I always hate to give a seller time to think about a deal too long as they always know “someone” who will pay more. So here is what happened. Got a call from a lady who wanted to sell her house. She wanted $95,000 and owed $55,000 on the first.(FMV is $185,000, same house 2 blocks over just sold for $180,000) She was willing to do a “subject to” on first, take $10,000 and carry the rest. Problem was, her husband, who left her is still on the loan. So she had to go find him.
We finally sit down, I have a contract in hand and then she hits me. "We have been talking to some people and we want $120,000. I choked but knew that it was still a deal, so I lamely accepted her new price and had them sign the papers. Problem is that now they want all of their money when it closes instead of carrying the paper. I HATE having to apply for a loan to purchase properties. Anyone have any suggestions on how to get her to agree to the original “verbal” agreement in regards to he carry back note?

They may have to sell, but you don’t have to buy. - Posted by GL(ON)

Posted by GL(ON) on July 03, 2002 at 17:58:13:

You don’t have to buy that house or any house.

But once someone commits to owning a house, They HAVE to sell it sometime or keep it forever.

I have had people pull the same trick on me. My standard response is, “I’m sorry but I just can’t afford to pay that much. You would be better off to sell to the other party. But if anything happens and it doesn’t go through, give me a call”.

If they call you back, and some will, I have another standard response. “Gee this puts me in a bit of a spot. I bought another house in the meantime, so I’m a little strapped for cash right now, but if you like we can get together and talk it over.”

Then I make them a new offer, BETTER FOR ME than the first one.

They usually take it.

2 things: One is if you have a signed contract they can’t change it or back out no matter who offers them what. Have your lawyer threaten them.

The other is you have to use some common sense. If you are making a real good deal, and they want some minor thing, don’t blow it but offer to give them what they want IF you get something in return.

P.S. The same thing goes if you are selling. If someone makes a deal and then backs out, if they come back later and say they want it after all on the same terms, I always ask more than what we agreed before.

Re: She caught with me with my shorts down! - Posted by Al - So Cal

Posted by Al - So Cal on July 03, 2002 at 17:49:12:

Its so hard and debilitating to start out your investment career weak as most of us have. Later in your career its great to go in on deals
and be in control with cash.
In your transactions you always want to be the one
with the leverage or you have a hard way to go.

Re: She caught with me with my shorts down! - Posted by Kert

Posted by Kert on July 03, 2002 at 14:28:33:

Vince,it sounds to me like the husband is trying to get the most out of you…As an investor…you should try to go for the lowest possible purchase price…she is going back on her word and if it was me…id tell her that im interested in the first offer and nothing else…if she doesnt like it…either walk away…or suck it up…buy, resell and move on…Good luck.

Re: She caught with me with my shorts down! - Posted by Dave T

Posted by Dave T on July 03, 2002 at 05:12:48:

Who was on the deed?

In my way of thinking, it should not have mattered who was on the loan. Am I way off base here?

Re: Pull your shorts back up and Go On! - Posted by $Cash$

Posted by $Cash$ on July 03, 2002 at 24:20:15:


It sounds as if you started out with a “one legger” which means that all the decision makers were not there when you started negotiating for the property.

When you negotiated with the lady (not a good idea over the phone, if that’s what happened) she told the husband about your offer. Then he probably talked to someone about the offer, she talked to someone about the offer and then they both came up with a different offer.

Maybe if you had waited until you talked to both of the decision makers at the same time, made your presentation and then closed the deal, done a great “Post Sell” on what a great decision they made, you probably would have had better success.

Don’t know how to save the deal, but maybe next time my advice will help you.


Re: She caught with me with my shorts down! - Posted by Ronald * Starr(in No CA)

Posted by Ronald * Starr(in No CA) on July 03, 2002 at 24:07:41:


Who was it that said “Verbal agreements are not worth the paper their printed on?”

In real estate purchases, as I’d be willing to bet you know, only written agreements can be enforced in a court of law. It is still possible to do deals based on verbal agreements, as long as there is no need to enforce terms of the contracts in court.

Now, for ideas that will get you what you want. Get a time machine, got back to when you first met her and get what you want in writing. Then pick up the husband later.

Tell her that you won’t do the deal having to pay all cash. Explain to her that you “hate” to apply for loans to get a property. Ask her if she would carry most of the loan if you paid her an additional $10K.

Ask her if she would be willing to apply in her name for a new loan and you will take the property subject to.

I, of course, do understand your unhappiness at paying 2/3 of market value for a property. I feel the same way, hate to pay more than 1/2 price for properties. However, I have a good reason for my feelings. I pay all cash when I buy. You are going to finance the purchase. Your unhappiness is dimished considerably by that fact.

Try to look at it like this: I am buying the property with the glass 1/3 full. That is, getting 1/3 of the property for free. Don’t concentrate on the 2/3 glass empty part.

Good InvestingRon Starr*****

Bought a house this weekend . . . - Posted by Joe Kaiser

Posted by Joe Kaiser on July 02, 2002 at 23:38:45:

Went out with my eighteen year old cousin, young kid wanting to get started in real estate, and we signed up a cute little 2 bedroom home. He got to watch me negotiate the thing and was surprised that I stood firm on the things that mattered, even when it looked like doing so would blow the deal. In the end, we signed off on a $2,500 down, 8% interest, 30 year owner financing with no balloon contact. Not bad.

I explained to him that this was a deal where they needed a buyer more than I needed a house.

So, my question to you is, who in your deal had the greater need? If it was you . . . there’s the problem.


Re: She caught with me with my shorts down! - Posted by Clare Z

Posted by Clare Z on July 02, 2002 at 23:28:43:

Yeah. Pull out of the deal. Two can play at this game. They will sell to this phantom buyer or not. Meanwhile, move on, and if they want your deal, they will let you know. Leave the door open. Do you have any weasel clauses, I hope?

Good luck,


Re: She caught with me with my shorts down! - Posted by bob

Posted by bob on July 03, 2002 at 15:36:08:

I would just move on to the next one. In the future, you should just get up from the table & start to walk towards the door & they will come running after YOU…

Re: The Deed Rules. - Posted by $Cash$

Posted by $Cash$ on July 03, 2002 at 09:42:11:

Dave T

The “Decision Makers” are the ones listed on the Deed.

Normally, not always, whoever is on the Deed is also on the loan.

In Vince’s scenerio it appeared that the Husband and Wife were Joint Tenants on the Deed, since she had to contact him.


When negotiating it always applies - Posted by Bob H

Posted by Bob H on July 03, 2002 at 02:00:10:

He who cares least - WINS.

Although, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work with my wife.

Bob H

In addition … - Posted by Redline

Posted by Redline on July 03, 2002 at 13:39:11:

Here in NJ, when dealing with married couples you’d want to get BOTH signatures anyway just in case … the other spouse can show up later claiming rights.

And just because they’re not on the deed, doesn’t mean they don’t have an interest.


Re: The Deed Rules. - Posted by Dave T

Posted by Dave T on July 03, 2002 at 13:20:35:

I know, but I still want to see Vince’s response.