Posted by karp on January 12, 1999 at 15:39:29:
WOW, John, thanks for the input on the “Win-Win”
I am not sure I disagree with you but your thesis borders on advocating altruism which I cannot tolerate.
I would make the case that it is the BELIEF SYSTEM which will determine how you feel about a deal. Not any outside “form” that the deal
takes…
Let me try to explain.
When I think of the best deals I have done they fall into one of three catagories…
-
Where I made a “killing”. Hmmm, let’s reflect on what a killing is…well for me it meant I didn’t have to hold a gun in order to force the
other guy to the table but once he decided to show up, I showed no mercy and walked away with EXACTLY what I wanted and more. -
The EGO deal. These are cool because even though I didn’t make as much money as another deal, I was the one who put together the
UNDOABLE deal! Nobody else could figure it out and I applied a little MOXIE and BOOM! Deal is closed. I look like a hero. My name is
praised from the rooftops! (well, maybe not the last bit…) Anyway, it feels good to be the one who gets things done. -
The Problem Solver deal. Here is where I again get to stroke my own ego but this time by specifically focusing on solving the other guy’s
challenge. It’s like the horrible loans I waste some time on occasionally because I like the borrowers…
What is the common elemenet in these deals? You got it, I won each time. I won material and nonmaterial things. But let’s see what may happen if I am focues on getting the same things out of a deal as the guy accross from me:
Now what if the guy I am sitting across from is trying to put one over on me? What if I know their track record? I could get up and walk
away and then they would simply do their job on another person maybe a “newbie” or some other “victim”. At that point, I can leave or stay.
I choose to stay. And I am angry. And my digestion, EKG, brainwaves and all that are running full throttle, superfly-TNT, pished off. Well, I
focus that anger into a laser beam, smile sheepishly on the outside and then proceed to destroy that person in the highest WIN-LOSE method
possible. Of course, I try to be on the WIN side.
Do I need to take that attitude with EVERY transaction? Nope. So what makes the difference? Simple. HOW I have judged the other party.
My fallible, biased judgment. It is the only tool I have. But I use it an I use it well.
So we have established that maybe to ALWAYS go for the kill while serving your material needs, may miss some of your other needs, and so WIN-LOSE may not ALWAYS be right.
But likewise I make the case that to preach “WIN-WIN” when people who know you or when you are honest with yourself you know NOT
every deal you have done was you simply looking out for the other guy…
I still maintain there are three types of people (Thanks Robert Ringer) who approach a deal:
Number 1’s: These are the jerks out there like me. I am in this game for me and my family and that’s it. I explian my intentions right from the
start that I need the best deal I can get. You know exactly what to expect.
Number 2’s: These people are