Posted by karp on January 12, 1999 at 15:39:29:
WOW, John, thanks for the input on the “Win-Win”
I am not sure I disagree with you but your thesis borders on advocating altruism which I cannot tolerate.
I would make the case that it is the BELIEF SYSTEM which will determine how you feel about a deal. Not any outside “form” that the deal
Let me try to explain.
When I think of the best deals I have done they fall into one of three catagories…
Where I made a “killing”. Hmmm, let’s reflect on what a killing is…well for me it meant I didn’t have to hold a gun in order to force the
other guy to the table but once he decided to show up, I showed no mercy and walked away with EXACTLY what I wanted and more.
The EGO deal. These are cool because even though I didn’t make as much money as another deal, I was the one who put together the
UNDOABLE deal! Nobody else could figure it out and I applied a little MOXIE and BOOM! Deal is closed. I look like a hero. My name is
praised from the rooftops! (well, maybe not the last bit…) Anyway, it feels good to be the one who gets things done.
The Problem Solver deal. Here is where I again get to stroke my own ego but this time by specifically focusing on solving the other guy’s
challenge. It’s like the horrible loans I waste some time on occasionally because I like the borrowers…
What is the common elemenet in these deals? You got it, I won each time. I won material and nonmaterial things. But let’s see what may happen if I am focues on getting the same things out of a deal as the guy accross from me:
Now what if the guy I am sitting across from is trying to put one over on me? What if I know their track record? I could get up and walk
away and then they would simply do their job on another person maybe a “newbie” or some other “victim”. At that point, I can leave or stay.
I choose to stay. And I am angry. And my digestion, EKG, brainwaves and all that are running full throttle, superfly-TNT, pished off. Well, I
focus that anger into a laser beam, smile sheepishly on the outside and then proceed to destroy that person in the highest WIN-LOSE method
possible. Of course, I try to be on the WIN side.
Do I need to take that attitude with EVERY transaction? Nope. So what makes the difference? Simple. HOW I have judged the other party.
My fallible, biased judgment. It is the only tool I have. But I use it an I use it well.
So we have established that maybe to ALWAYS go for the kill while serving your material needs, may miss some of your other needs, and so WIN-LOSE may not ALWAYS be right.
But likewise I make the case that to preach “WIN-WIN” when people who know you or when you are honest with yourself you know NOT
every deal you have done was you simply looking out for the other guy…
I still maintain there are three types of people (Thanks Robert Ringer) who approach a deal:
Number 1’s: These are the jerks out there like me. I am in this game for me and my family and that’s it. I explian my intentions right from the
start that I need the best deal I can get. You know exactly what to expect.
Number 2’s: These people are